Nothing in the World is Single
by window124
Summary: AU: Sometimes fate decides a different course of action when two people are in love and the world doesn't know about it.
1. The Funhouse

"Look at me."

When Olivia Pope was a child she loved when the city fair would come into town. She loved the rides and the excitement. She loved the smell of cotton candy and popcorn that permeated the fairgrounds as if it came from the land. The vibrant and flashy reds, blues, and purples on the rides and booths. The beginning of the chilly autumn air and the last gasps of summer stirring everyone to live as much as they could outside. She loved the very strange attractions that both repealed and intrigued her into wanting to know more about them. The best attraction for her, however, was the Funhouse.

"Look at me."

Olivia loved the funhouse and the best and scariest part in going in was the uneven hallway. Her gut always twisted as she got closer to it, knowing that she wanted to stay upright and walk normally but when she got in there she would tip and bump against the walls. Her mother thought it was crazy that she would go in the Funhouse over and over just to walk down that hallway, wasting her tickets for the Ferris Wheel or the bumper cars to go into the house and get disorientated by the unevenness of a hallway.

"Look at me."

She felt like she was in an uneven hallway now but it wasn't the exciting challenge it was as a kid. Her feet felt unsteady, her hands like jello, the unreality of this moment making her feel as if she were in a dream. That he couldn't possibly be holding her and commanding her to look into his stormy grayish blue eyes. She continuously bumped into the walls of her love for him and wanted the floor to be straight so she could get the hell out of there. She wanted her clarity and her instincts to kick in and make the world stop spinning. Looking in his eyes was always a dangerous proposition but even more dangerous now. But if he wanted her to look in his eyes he would have to answer her questions even though her gut told her that she already knew the answer.

"Did you give her that dog?"

"Livvie." His voice rasped in her ear and her stomach did a flip of both revulsion and desire. She gazed at him, her eyes open wide to face the truth of him and not the illusion she had constructed. She had to know. She had to hear it from him.

"Did you give her that dog?"

His eyes pleaded at her and she knew. She knew and she felt as if she had been punched in the gut. As if he had actively taken his fist and hit her straight in the stomach and at that point Olivia wasn't sure if that was the better alternative to this. To this knowing.

_Son of a bitch!_

"I. Love. You." She could tell that he felt it too. That he could feel that he was losing her and it made her want to strangle him. She wanted to get out. She had to get out of his arms before she lost it. Before she did something she regretted.

She pulled out of his arms and she felt his body shadow her and try to pull her back again. Back into his lies and treachery. Back into that illusion that he loved her and cared enough about her that he wouldn't do such a thing with a girl young enough to be his daughter. She felt his hand reach for her and she turned to him again, stunned and shaken by his absolute betrayal of her and her trust.

She slapped him. Olivia Carolyn Pope slapped the President of the United States in the Oval Office and she didn't give a damn. She was angrier than she had ever remembered being and this anger was making her move forward from the sharp pain that was settling into her chest at knowing. At knowing that he had probably never loved her and it was all just a game in his sick head. Who was this man she thought she loved? Who was this man standing in front of her?

"I believed you!" She yelled out and Fitz simply stood there staring at her. "You clouded my judgment! You made me mistrust my gut because I wanted to believe you!"

He started to walk closer to her and she wanted to back up. She wanted to get away and flee but she stood her ground, her anger not wanting her to move again for this man.

"I destroyed that girl! She tried to kill hersel—"

He grabbed her face in a brutal kiss and the room was silent.

* * *

It was never a good thing to hear Olivia Pope yell and Cyrus knew that whatever had brought Olivia here this night was something that could wait until the President Sarkozy had his toast. He didn't know what had gotten into Fitz that he would risk offending a foreign leader just because Olivia seemed upset. Sometimes the boy just didn't make sense to him at all.

Cyrus began to reach for the door that lead into the Oval Office when the communication director approached him.

"Sir! President Sarkozy would like a word with you before the President comes back for the toast."

Cyrus turned from the door and nodded his head, making his way toward where President Sarkozy was. He looked at the President's secretary.

"Make sure they don't kill one another alright? It's hard as hell to get blood out of a tuxedo."

* * *

President Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III had no idea how they had gotten to this point but what he did know was that he wanted to hold on. He needed to hold onto her because she was the only thing that kept him sane. He kept his lips on hers and his hands on her face and he felt her begin to soften in his embrace and felt his own embrace relax with hers. Olivia opened her mouth and he allowed his tongue to slip in. He felt her small hands inch up his back and felt a relief that he knew would be short lived.

He had missed her so much. Olivia Pope being out of his life had been torture and having her here, even if she was pissed off, was better than not having her at all. Having her hands on him was the best balm for his soul he could think of. Kissing her again was as if someone had opened a cell door and gave him a glimpse of freedom. He couldn't lose her again. He couldn't.

Fitz felt her start to push away and resisted. If he could keep her there, if he could explain, then maybe she wouldn't leave again. Maybe she would understand. He had regretted what he had done with Amanda the minute it was over and wished he could take it back. He was sorry. He was so sorry but it would mean nothing if she left him now.

"Fitz. Fitz let me go." She pleaded and he felt his heart ache with the pain in her voice. He could deal with her anger but not her disappointment. Not her sounding broken.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Fitz whispered in her ear. "I love you. I love you."

"I can't do this." She began pushing away and Fitz loosened his hold on her face so he could look at her. He had lost her trust and that was worse than any sharp words that could come from her.

"It meant nothing…she meant nothing."

He saw the anger rise in her eyes again and she pushed his hands off her face and backed away from him. He could still feel the ghost of her lips on his and yearned for them again. But he didn't move towards her. He wanted her to get out whatever she needed to get out so that he could try and fix it. Try and fix her trust in him.

"I don't care, Mr. President. I don't care if it didn't mean anything or whatever your excuse is for what you did. You lied to me. You used whatever feelings I had for you to do your dirty work for you and get rid of that girl."

"I didn't want to hurt you."

"You didn't want to hurt me?" Her look of disgust cut into his heart and he felt adrift. "This is better? Finding out that you called her sweet baby in bed is not hurting me?"

"I didn't call her sweet baby in bed!" Fitz took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down so that he could explain. "It wasn't like that."

"So tell me what it was like? You cheated on your mistress with your girlfriend! I think that is all I need to know."

"She's not my girlfriend and don't you dare call yourself my mistress! You know what you mean to me! You knew what you meant to me when you left but you didn't care!"

"So that makes it right?"

"I didn't say that. I'm saying you are blowing what happened between me and Amanda Tanner way out of proportion."

Olivia covered her face with her hands and Fitz found himself being irrationally angry at her. How could she deny his feeling for her? Did she know how many nights he stayed awake after she left? The number of times he almost called her out of desperation? How many times he almost made a beeline for the exits of the White House just so he could see her? It was ridiculous to think that Olivia thought she meant nothing to him. He was dying without her. Didn't she get that?

"I just can't do this." Olivia shrugged her shoulder. "I just can't."

"You can. You love me and I love you."

"Fitz, just stop! Just stop with the self-delusion. You think you love me but you just don't like your wife. That is what this has always been about."

"How dare you!" Fitz exploded. "What gives you the right to tell me what I feel and why I feel it? You have some nerve!"

"Amanda proved how you feel, Mr. President. You sleep with her and I'm supposed to believe you have undying devotion for me?"

Fitz took in a deep breath. "It wasn't…I…"

"Did you even use a condom with her?"

"I didn't have to."

Olivia crossed her arms. "So you had unprotected sex with the intern?"

"God…no. Not really."

He saw Olivia pause for a minute and then her face got more disgusted. Fitz merely shook his head and got closer to Olivia.

"Don't touch me! So you got the Clinton treatment. That doesn't make me feel any better."

"It was a mistake. It. Was. A. Mistake, Livvie."

"You lied to me."

"I know. I just can't lose you again."

"It's too late for that Fitz. "

"Livvie." He tried to reach for her again but she was already getting her purse and headed out of the door. She turned and looked at him with anger.

"And Amanda Tanner is now my client."

She walked out the door as Cyrus walked in, his face filled with confusion at the look on her face and then the look on the President's. President Grant looked, emotionally, as if he had been beaten by a hammer.

"What was that about?"

"Doesn't matter." The President said wiping the lipstick off his face discreetly. "We have a toast to give."


	2. Run

When Fitz was seventeen years old he would often run on the beach at the break of dawn to let out stress. He liked the pull on his body and digging into the sand all the pressure that he felt from his father to be a man he wasn't sure he wanted to be. While his friends smoked weed and got drunk on weekends he had responsibilities and duties to his father and his family that he had to uphold. There would be no arrest for the Governor's son. No pregnant girl on their doorstep. No black mark on his family's reputation and name. He had to always be above reproach. The good son. So the only thing he allowed himself was a good run when he wasn't supposed to be out. When he really wasn't supposed to be in Santa Barbara and he'd driven part of the night to get there just to do this, the waves crashing onto his sneakers and the sea air in his lungs.

It was the beginning of him exercising away his stress and his anger. It fit into his lifestyle as a Navy pilot where the men would have contests to see who could lift the most weights and who could run the longest on a treadmill just to cover the boredom of not flying. It had a practical application to his married life when he wanted to avoid Mellie and just let the tension of their arguments and disagreements disappear with a good run in the family exercise room or jogging on the different nature paths on the ranch.

So it was it in the White House exercise room at 4:30 in the morning where he found himself on the treadmill running at a thunderous pace, his hair wet and his black t-shirt damp from his effort. He hadn't had much sleep as sleep only brought Olivia to his mind. Her look of disappointment in him playing over and over in his head. So he ran out his shame and his sorrow, Guns N' Roses blaring in his ipod. Fitz didn't hear Cyrus walk in but he suddenly felt his presence and pulled out his earphones.

"What are you doing here so early?" Fitz puffed as he continued to run. Cyrus was dressed in his suit but he looked tired and not ready for the day.

"Mellie called. Said you weren't sleeping."

Fitz continued to run and Cyrus continued to stand there, his eyes bleary. He hated when Mellie got involved in things like this. It always ended badly. He ran harder.

"So are you going to tell me what is going on or do I have to guess?"

"Cy, I have a Supreme Court nomination announcement to make today. I can be a bit wired about things like that. You know it."

"Horseshit. This is about Olivia and you know it. She ran out of here the other night like a bat out of hell and now she won't return my calls. What happened?"

Fitz put his legs apart on the machine and turned it off. His breaths came in fast and furious and he leaned forward a bit to catch his breath. Cyrus waited.

"She's mad at me."

"No shit!" Cyrus said as he went to go get Fitz a towel. "But I want to know why she's mad at you."

Fitz caught the towel and wiped his face free of sweat. He didn't want to get into this with Cyrus right now. All that would do is make Cyrus mad and him even more frustrated. He knew Cyrus had certain expectations of him. In that way, Cyrus reminded him a lot of his father, but he didn't want to complicate things. He knew that Cyrus would freak out and make everything worse and he would tear him a new one for lying to him about Amanda Tanner. But he'd find out anyway so he might as well get it out of the way now before Cyrus heard it from anybody else.

"She's going to represent Amanda Tanner."

"Why the hell would she do that for?" Cyrus said watching Fitz get off the treadmill and take a swig of water. "She's one of us."

"Because I did something with Amanda Tanner and she found out about it."

Cyrus froze and didn't say anything for a long time. Fitz didn't look at him but he draped his white towel over his shoulders.

"What did you do, Mr. President?"

"I fucked up. That's what I did, Cyrus. And now Olivia doesn't trust me."

"You slept with Amanda Tanner?"

"Not exactly."

"Don't give me this semantics bullshit! You stuck your dick in that girl and now the best fixer in the country is gunning for us!"

"Olivia isn't gunning for us. She's just…mad right now."

"I'll tell you one goddamn thing!" Cyrus started to pace and Fitz hated when Cyrus paced. It meant nothing but grief was coming to him for the next couple of weeks. "You will make it up to Olivia and get her back. You are going to fix this shit, flyboy!"

"Okay, Cy. Alright."

"What the fuck is wrong with you? I thought you and Mellie were getting along?"

"Enough. I'm not talking anymore about this." Fitz cut off the conversation and began to head towards the shower. "We got a busy day ahead of us, Cy. We don't have time to argue about some intern. Okay?"

Cyrus stayed silent and fumed. Fitz didn't care.

* * *

Olivia Pope did not expect to be back at the White House ever again. But here she was, going past Morris at security, and making a beeline towards the West Wing. She just wanted to warn Cyrus about Patrick Keating being on her client's list and that would be the end of it. She could walk away, clear of conscience, and never see the President again if she didn't have to. For all of her bluster about representing Amanda Tanner she was unsure if that was what she was going to do or if she was just going to leave the whole matter alone and move on with her life. What concern of it was her that Fitz might get in trouble for this?

_Then why are you here, Olivia?_ She asked herself. And the truth was she didn't really know the answer. She didn't know why she was here ready to stop the President from making a terrible choice in his nomination. She didn't know why a part of her did want to see him again and talk to him. Kiss him. Hold him like she once did.

_What's wrong with me? Get it together, Pope._

"Liv!"

Billy Chambers walked next to her as they made their way into the building together. She felt uneasy. There was always something very off about Billy but she could never quite put her finger on what it was. He was always chipper and polite to her but something about his style rubbed her the wrong way. Her gut was weary of him but then again her gut had never been weary of Fitz and looked how that turned out.

They walked into Cyrus' office and he was there collecting papers. He looked up and he almost seemed sad to see her.

"Olivia. I'm surprised to see you here."

"Cyrus. I have some bad news."

* * *

"Liv, I need a minute."

Billy waved goodbye and Olivia stayed still, knowing what was going to come next and how Cyrus was going to talk about her and Fitz's relationship. She was totally taken off guard with what he said next.

"Fitz is being an asshole and I don't really blame you for thinking about representing Amanda Tanner."

Olivia was unsure that she heard what she thought she heard and Cyrus lifted an eyebrow.

"He told me about what he did and I know how you feel about people not shooting straight with you. I just want to tell you that you don't have to represent Amanda to get back at Fitz. I've cursed him out enough for the both of us."

Did Cyrus not know? Olivia didn't know if she felt bad or good about that revelation but the bigger part of her felt like Fitz treated her like dirty little secret. Just like Amanda. And it pissed her off.

"Olivia? You okay?"

"I'll be fine, Cyrus."

"You know he hasn't been the same since you left. He's been making rookie mistakes and hasn't been as focused as he was before. You brought balance here and I think you smoothed out some of his edges. Talk to him. Let him see some reason."

"I don't know if I can do that for him anymore, Cy."

"You were the best at it. He needs you, Liv. Hell, I need you. You always know how to bring him back to earth. He's optimistic and he's idealistic and that is one of the things that make him great but it is also the shit that is going to get him eaten up in this godforsaken town. This girl probably blew gumdrops and rainbows up his ass and he wasn't the wiser."

"Who is to say that he wasn't the one doing the blowing?"

Cyrus gave her a small smile. "He can be a manipulative son of a bitch. No question. But he's a good egg, Liv. One of the better ones in all of politics. You know that. Talk to him. Do it for me if you won't do it for anyone else."

Olivia nodded and began to walk out the room. She was going to go and see the President as soon as his press conference was over.


	3. Resolute

As Mellie waited for Fitz to come back from the press conference she sat in his chair in the Oval Office and pondered why she couldn't own the chair. Why she couldn't go over legislation and top secret dealings on the Resolute Desk. It was something she wondered often and every time the same thought came back. Because she born a woman in the wrong time and she didn't have the idealism of her husband for a better future.

Her mother had told her all the dreams in her head would get her nowhere when she was younger. That she should attach herself to a man with potential and then pass that potential on through her children much like her mother did her. Dreams of being the most powerful woman on the earth were worth nothing because it would be a man's world and it would stay a man's world. Women had to be subtle to get what they wanted. Gentle as a dove and as deadly as a snake. If you could do that then you could get the power you want through that man.

It wasn't until Harvard that Mellie began to see the truth in her mother's words. She was at the top of her class and people resented her for it. She could never go as far as she wanted. She was turned away and hassled, passed over for men of lesser ability and strength. It didn't matter what she did it was never enough to earn respect. To make her break pass the glass ceiling of her gender.

It was after this revelation that she had met Fitz, the son of the Governor of California. He was unimpressive with his guitar on his back and his easy going charm. Fitz looked like a slacker, someone who didn't apply himself or take much seriously, at least at first. He had sung some songs at a fraternity party, his guitar echoing through the room, and the girls fell over themselves trying to get his attention. He was handsome but he wasn't someone who she had much use for.

It was only until this slacker spoke at a convention of College Republicans and moved the entire crowd enough for them to begin to chant his name that she saw something special in him. Something that she could not have for herself. Power. And she knew he found something in her that he needed and that was money and influence for his dreams. They had fell in fast enough and made a striking couple on campus but both knew it wasn't necessarily love. Companionship or a partnership of like minds but it wasn't a romantic connection that you read about in storybooks. Fitz's idealism didn't reach that far. The sex was good and he made her laugh at unexpected times. His idealism even sometimes moved her and he admitted that he liked it when she relaxed and lightened up. For her part she rode him beyond his potential and he became much more studious and focused as a student. Their parents had formed a mutual admiration society and it had been settled. He would be president eventually and she would be first lady and both would attain their own dreams through the other.

It was only after the marriage where things began to fall apart. His idealistic nature started to grate on her nerves and his by the book leanings began to bug her. He was not cutthroat enough for this business he was getting into. He believed in everyone having a fair chance not noticing the reality around him that there were no fair shakes in this life. Anyone who believed that was a fool and more and more she was coming to see Fitz as a fool. He was a fool now. He'd been an even bigger fool since Olivia left.

She had not been shocked that Fitz slept with Olivia Pope. She had been prepped that that was the way of political marriages. That eventually Fitz would cheat and have a lover that appealed to him as a man. That would fulfill the needs she couldn't. What had shocked her was the depth of his feelings for the woman. It was this that let her know that he had recently had a disagreement with Olivia as the only time he lost sleep was when he was thinking of her. Cyrus had merely confirmed this after she called when Fitz had left their bed.

Mellie caressed the Resolute Desk with her fingertips and then rose at someone coming into the room.

"Mellie."

"Olivia!" Mellie broke into her practiced smile around the younger woman and came around the desk to give her a hug. "It is so good to see you again. And so soon after the last time. I hope this means you are coming back to us?"

Olivia gave her a pained smile and Mellie tilted her head with interest. Fitz must have messed up good if Olivia looked like this. The poor girl looked like she hadn't slept a wink herself.

"I'm happy where I am."

"I can understand that. But we all miss you here."

"I miss all of you too." Mellie was surprised by the sincerity and stored that information away for later. She didn't dislike Olivia Pope. In fact, she sometimes actively liked her. But she was also jealous of her in many ways. Olivia had the freedom to do what she wanted and to have her own power without a man. It was something that Mellie believed she could have had if she had been born ten year later than she was. That she could have had a career that she loved and wanted. That she could have been the one giving orders. That she could have pursued her dreams and lived the life she had wanted for herself.

"And I saw you weren't on the guest list for the State Dinner. I'll fix that."

"No. Mellie you don't have to do that."

"Of course I do. We could have never gotten here without you. You are coming and that is the end of that."

Olivia nodded her head and then they both turned to see Fitz enter the room. Mellie gave him a smile and went to him.

"Fitz, Olivia is coming to the State Dinner? Isn't that great?"

Fitz looked at her as if she had grown a third head but played along. "Wonderful."

"I'll see you later. The Chancellor will be here in a few mintues."

She gave him a chaste kiss on the lips and then walked out of the room. She may not be in love with him but she knew her place. And it was a place she would give up for no one.

* * *

Fitz didn't want to mess this up. He had thought over and over again about what he would say, the things he would do if he saw Olivia again. The other night had been a disaster and he had been caught off guard by her revelation that she knew and now with time to think and with time to focus he could talk to her and say what he felt. How big of a mistake he made.

"Did Cyrus tell you?"

"Yes."

"Patrick Keating's nomination is important to your image. It might be wise for you to recommend for him to step down."

"I thought he was clean, Liv. He was your suggestion."

"Well, sometimes things fall through the cracks."

Fitz knew she was talking about him. "You can fix it, can't you? Patrick shouldn't have to pay for a discretion he regrets deeply."

"How do you know he regrets anything?"

"Because when a man loves someone as deeply as he probably loves his wife they always regret it. I've seen him with his wife. He adores her."

Olivia swallowed and he moved a bit closer. She didn't move back so he took it as permission to get closer.

"He knows he hurt someone deeply that he cares about and it probably tears him up inside knowing that he did something horribly wrong. He knew it the moment he did it."

Olivia closed her eyes. "Fitz…"

"I'm so sorry, Livvie. I messed up big time and I know that. I was a fool. I still am a fool. But the most foolish thing I have ever done in my life is letting you walk out of my life."

"Fitz…don't." She pointed up at the cameras and he wearily looked up. He moved to the side of the room, by the windows, and she followed. As soon as he got close he touched her fingertips and then held her hand.

"I miss you, Livvie. I've been going crazy."

"This is not good for you or for me, Mr. President."

"If you are trying to talk me out of loving you it is not going to work. That will never happen."

"It is what needs to happen. You have a wife and two kids. What will that do to them? What will that do to the country?"

"So you want me to ignore this? To ignore us?"

"I…I don't know."

"You feel it too. I know you do. Do you miss me?"

"Fitz…"

"Do you?"

She took in a deep sigh and then met his eyes. "Yes. Yes, I miss you so much."

She dropped her hand from his. "But we can't do this."

Someone walked into the door and Olivia backed further apart from him, quick enough that the other person couldn't see how close they were together. Fitz felt a frustration build within him that was ready to explode.

"Mr. President, the Chancellor is ready to see you."

Fitz nodded and the aide left. He looked at Olivia again and gave a simple promise.

"We are going to finish this discussion."


	4. As My Guitar Gently Weeps

Olivia had to admit that Madame Marquette's earlier words had struck her. Standing here, in front of the arguing Keatings, were putting things in her mind that shouldn't be there. Hearing Patrick Keating angry and fuming about Stacy Keating deception had her reliving her own feelings of anger at the man she loved. Stacy Keating's pleas and her telling her husband that it was done all for him made her think about how much she had sacrificed for Fitz. What she had done for him and how much it had cost her personally. How much they made her doubt herself when it came to him.

But she had made a president, for ill or for good, as Madame Marquette had said. The moment she knew that for sure was in a cancer ward in Pennsylvania where the race was tight and she had wanted to show a more compassionate conservative image of Governor Grant to the nation to shore up more of the women's vote. Fitz had felt slightly irritated that his policies didn't speak for themselves or that he was using these kids for a photo op but he went along with it begrudgingly. He had been slightly morose going into the hospital but his natural gregariousness won out and he found himself genuinely affected by the children's struggle to survive and their thirst for life. It was in the playroom when he spotted it and the idea had mortified her.

'_A guitar, Governor Grant?"_

'_I want to play it.'_

'_Governor, these kids have cancer. Don't contribute to their suffering.' Cyrus whispered. Fitz gave a small laugh._

'_I might be a little rusty. I haven't really played since Jerry was born. But I think I can lick a string pretty good.'_

_He went to the guitar beside a rocking chair and Olivia could hear the overwhelming sound of clicking cameras. A small girl who looked no more than three years old gravitated towards him in the chair, her hair gone from chemo, and then sat down in front of him as the other toddler aged children played around them. _

'_You have any requests?'_

'_Twinkle, twinkle.' She answered, her brown eyes sparkling with happiness._

'_Looks like she has a crush.' Cyrus said leaning into Olivia's space._

_The little girl wasn't the only one. The parents and reporters paid rapt attention as Fitz began to play his guitar and were surprised that he was pretty good at it. His singing voice wasn't too bad either and caught the notice of the rest of the toddlers who started to form around him. He played anything they requested and they laughed and swayed with him as he continued playing. The pressures and responsibilities of the campaign trail drifted away with each song and for the first time Olivia saw Fitz as natural as he could be. Entertaining, gentle, helpful, and kind. All traits of a good president. Of someone the people could trust._

'_You think they're buying this?' Cyrus said, his cynic cap firmly on._

_Fitz brought the young girl who came to him first closer to his him as he strung more songs._

'_I don't think there is anything to buy.' Olivia admitted to both Cyrus and herself. 'I think this is as real as it gets.'_

It hadn't helped that later that night was one of the rare times that Cyrus decided to turn in early (Olivia had discovered later that Cyrus was having his own illicit relationship on the campaign trail and that he hadn't turned in for the night as much as went to go see James) and left them alone in Fitz's hotel suite. Cyrus presence beforehand left the appearance of nothing untoward going on between the Governor and his fixer in the night time hours and Fitz and Olivia had found that the Secret Service agents that he had received as a part of becoming the official Republican nominee were as discreet and as secretive as their named implied. So a Governor and his communications director could stay together for most of the night and not much was made of it in people's eyes. Olivia and Fitz had made the most of that assumption.

_He kissed her almost chastely as they laid fully clothed on the suite's bed and Olivia could almost pretend that there was nothing salacious about him doing that. His eyes, a mixture of grey and blue, examined her and found he liked what he saw._

'_Do you want kids?'_

_Olivia sat up, unsure where this was going or why the conversation was going in such a direction. Fitz looked up at her with amusement._

'_Livvie, it was just a question.'_

'_That is not __**just**__ a question in the position we are in.'_

'_I'm just curious. I mean you are a very beautiful woman. You are smart, aggressive, and in charge. But there is another side of you. I saw you looking at those kids. You even played with one. You've never thought…'_

'_This line of questioning isn't appropriate.'_

_Fitz finally sat up and reached for her pulling her body to his. He nibbled on her neck playfully and she couldn't help the giggles that erupted from her. He joined in on her laughter and then suddenly became serious._

'_I just thought…I think you'd be a great mom.'_

'_I never really thought of myself as a mother.' Olivia confessed. 'I do know my mother wants me to have kids but I don't know if they would fit into my lifestyle.'_

'_The question isn't whether they fit into your lifestyle as much as if you want to have them, I've found.' Fitz said as he put her into his lap. She turned her body to wrap both her arms and legs around him and could feel the beginnings of his arousal. 'Being both a Governor and a father has had its difficulties but I love my children and am happy they are in my life.'_

'_What brought this on?' Olivia said as she kissed his jawline, her own arousal growing with his. _

'_I don't know. Seeing those kids reminded me of my own kids. Just made my mind wonder to you. Why you don't have kids? No husband?'_

'_Fitz…' He was treading on dangerous territory and she wasn't sure he totally knew that fact._

'_When I first saw you, I have to confess, I thought some man had to have proposed to you. That you were married with about two kids and a happy husband who waited at home for you while you were on the trail kicking ass. That there was no way you could be that intelligent, strong, and beautiful and not have a significant other. It would have made it easier for me to resist you...though now that I think about it it might have made it worse than it already is.'_

_He scooted back some and began to unbutton her blouse, kissing his way down her neck and chest, leaving a small amount of moisture in his wake. Olivia closed her eyes and grinded into his hardness and he gave a grunt of approval._

'_And I was…' Fitz rasped as he began to peel back her top to reveal her bra underneath. '…I was so happy when Cyrus told me you were single. I was so happy even though I know I wasn't supposed to have you.'_

_Her bra came undone and his lips gave soft kisses to the top of her left breast making Olivia sigh and play with the curly hair at the nape of his neck. She didn't know how she had ever lived without this for so long. Without him for so long. Fitz looked at her, his eyes stormy and strangely possessive._

'_I know this sounds selfish and I feel like an asshole for saying it but I am so happy that you are single. That no other man has you. That you belong only to me.'_

_His tongue found her nipple and Olivia temporarily forgot to breath, her fingers gripping the back of Fitz's head._

'_I'm so happy that you don't have another man's kids. I don't even know what I'm saying right now but I do know that I feel so happy around you. Happier than I have ever been, Livvie, and it makes me feel crazy to know I can't have you fully. That I can't have kids with you and make a life with you. That I can't sing to our children. That I can't sing to you. I haven't played the guitar in ten years and I picked one up today. I picked one up and I saw your face and I wanted to sing forever. To play forever. Don't you get it?'_

_He pulled back from her so she could fully see his face and she was shocked to see the beginning of tears in his eyes. She smoothed down his hair and fought back her own tears._

"_I love you, Livvie. You make me so happy I could burst. I wish it were you. With everything in my being I wish it were you.'_

_Tears fell down her cheeks and she kissed him with an urgency she didn't know she had in her. _

"He's the perfect jurist."

Olivia was taken out of her memories by his sudden presence. She could feel him in the room without turning around, the shadow of his touch haunting her every waking moment. She knew he wasn't too close and continued to watch the couple argue in the next room.

"Methodical, analytical, nonpartisan. He lives by the letter of the law. You chose well. Then you always do."

Olivia kept her composure though her heartbeat was going 100 miles per hour. Their meeting earlier had not gone well and she didn't want a repeat performance. She didn't want him to shake her out of what she should do. She just wanted to warn him and leave. Do one last favor and step out of his life forever. Her visit with Amanda Tanner earlier in the day had convinced her that such action was necessary and she was being a fool pretending that he had ever really cared. That there were no winners in this game they were playing. That what he had with her was the game he played with all the women in his life. Had he said the same things to Amanda that he said to her after they laid in bed together, spent with passion? She just couldn't do this anymore.

"He would have been a great Supreme Court Justice. I couldn't stop it. It's coming out."

Olivia felt him getting closer to her and felt betrayed when a part of her wanted him to wrap his arms around her. To tell her it was all going to be alright and that they could pretend. That they could pretend that none of it was real and that they had no problems. She couldn't do this.

"I'll have to find a new nominee. Any suggestions?"

Olivia felt anger build in her. How dare he assume she was still at his beck and call? How dare he assume that she owed him that?

"I don't work for you anymore."

She felt him coming closer and steeled herself against his presence. He was soon beside her but she didn't look. She didn't dare look at him because she knew it would fall apart. That she would fall apart and she couldn't afford that.

"You think they can get past this?"

"I don't know how they can."

She saw his arm go up and felt a moment of tension before his hand planted itself on the other side of the door. He was right beside her and from the sides of her vision she could see he was looking ahead as well at the couple arguing. That had been them a couple of days ago and this morning. Trying to find answers and soothe hurts inflicted. Stacy Keating put up her hand to reach for her husband but he backed away, his anger stiff and unyielding.

"I think that those two people want to be together. I think that love, at the end of the day, is stronger than the mistakes someone made."

Olivia felt the brush of his fingers on hers and felt an electric charge shoot up her spine and a familiar flutter in her stomach. Her mouth opened involuntarily at the unexpected contact but she brushed his fingers back.

She felt overwhelmed with the urge to fall in his arms. Anger and love fought inside of her: Her anger wanting her to walk away and her love wanting to stay in his arms and forgive him. Forgive him for anything. And that last idea was the one that was crazy and foolish but a part of her didn't care. A part of her just wanted him back.

"I think that love allows for forgiveness."

They stayed touching one another and Olivia allowed herself one moment. One moment to just be with him and feel his touch without guilt. Then she pulled away.

"We can't do this."

"I told you earlier this conversation wasn't over. I meant it. I'm not losing you again."

"So you want forgiveness? Absolution for what you did? For making that girl think you were in love with her?"

Fitz scoffed. "Is that what she told you? That she was in love with me?"

"She told me enough to believe her?"

"Over me?"

"You haven't exactly made it easy to believe you."

Fitz looked hurt by that statement and Olivia felt a sense of satisfaction from that. Good, he deserved it.

"I never told her I loved her. I never told her that she meant the world to me. I never told her that she was the love of my life. These are things I never told Amanda Tanner. If she is telling you different then she is lying. There is only one person that holds those claims over me and I'm not letting her go."

"I'm not yours to claim."

"The hell you aren't!" Fitz whispered with such intensity that it took her aback. "I'm tired of playing these games. Of pretending I don't love you when I do. This is killing me, Livvie."

"You need to get a grip, Mr. President." Olivia said, both angry and sad. "This is the reality. You have a wife. Kids. A family. None of that is with me. You can't have me."

Fitz tightened his jaw and shook his head, his pride and anger taking over. He gave her four words before he disappeared from the room.

"We'll see about that."


	5. Shadows of Intimacy

Amanda Tanner had followed the plan. It had not been easy for her but she had followed it despite her own personal disgust with it because Billy had promised her it would help the country. Both had been devastated by Sally Langston giving up the presidency to become Fitzgerald Grant's vice presidency and Billy had became more upset by it every day since the general election where he saw that the President became a Republican in name only. It was when he had suggested it in bed with her that the President had a bad habit. That he was cheating on his wife with someone and if he would do it once he would do it again. Billy had always been straight with her and he was one of the most stable relationships she had ever had. She loved him because he stayed when he found out her mother went insane. He stayed when she revealed that she had had so many other lovers. He had stayed and told her he loved her. Amanda believed him. So when he suggested that she use her position to help out Vice President Langston and return the country to greatness she didn't doubt him. She loved him.

She let the hate of the president fuel her own actions but soon found herself charmed by him. President Grant asked about her family. How she was doing. He joked with her but it was not in a flirtatious way which surprised her. Amanda told him of how she had missed her dogs and out of friendliness he had brought her one. She could tell there was no ulterior motive. Grant was not trying to be sleazy in giving her the dog or prime her for anything sexual. She had had too many men do that to her to not be able to tell. He was being a friend and nothing more.

Which had made her job more difficult. She had flirted with him only for him to brush her off as a kid, though he was flattered. Billy had become more anxious and told her to try harder but the President was a harder catch than both had assumed. Amanda set out the bait and he didn't bite. But she did know he was lonely. She could tell by the way he would start up conversations and how he clearly avoided his wife when he could. How long he stayed in the Oval Office even when he didn't have business and talk to his Secret Service Agents or her when he should have been in residence. Mellie was impressive and friendly but everyone in the White House sensed her coldness towards the President. It was a rather open secret that the President and his wife had problems, but it wasn't a hostile relationship between them. Just not a warm one.

She did notice that when a certain name popped up that he would snap to attention. When Cyrus or even Billy would mention Olivia Pope his eyes would soften and a small smile came to his lips. He wouldn't talk about Olivia but it was obvious there was something there. Billy had told her that he suspected that that was their way in. That she could use Olivia to get to him and what they both wanted. He had let her listen to the presidential sex tape and it made her more sickened by the president and more willing to bring him down. How could he do that to his wife and to the office of the Presidency?

It was two weeks after listening to the tape that Amanda had her opening. President had a rough couple days politically and his critics were gaining an upper hand. A signature bill was going towards defeat in the House and he was not taking it well. He had scotch in his hand as he reclined on the couch, his free hand rubbing his forehead. Grant had smiled when he saw her and she smiled back.

'_Amanda.'_

'_Mr. President. Is everything okay?'_

_He pursed his lips and took another drink. 'It should be okay. Hopefully. What are you doing here so late?'_

'_Paperwork.'_

'_Ahh…paperwork. Stuff of champions.'_

_Amanda genuinely laughed and made her way towards him and he gave her a cautious eye as she sat next to him. He took another drink and they stayed in silence. One of his hands came down to the cushion and she grabbed it, shocking him._

'_I don't like to see you hurting.'_

'_Amanda…'_

'_And I know you are hurting. I just…I care about you so much.'_

_He yanked his hand back and shook his head. 'No. You need to stop.'_

'_I'm sorry. You've been such a good friend to me. It's been so lonely here without my family. And I know you've been lonely too.'_

_President Grant rose and walked away from her, his back tense. He stayed in front of his desk staring out the windows. She rose and stood next to him. _

'_This is inappropriate. You need to stop, Amanda. This leads nowhere good.'_

'_I can't help what I feel. And I thought…'_

'_I don't feel that way. You are a bright and beautiful girl. You are also old enough to be my daughter.'_

'_But…'_

'_You have to stop this.' He took another drink of his scotch and shivered slightly from the burn. _

'_You could pretend.'_

_President Grant looked at her as if she had struck him. 'What?'_

'_You don't love me but you love someone.'_

'_I don't know what you are talking about.'_

_She rested a hand on his shoulder and could see his eyes were beginning to become glassy with inebriation. Good._

'_You could pretend, sir. You could pretend I was her. That won't bother me just as long as I can have you.'_

_There was suddenly a tension in the room and she had never felt anything like it. He considered her for a minute and a desperation appeared in his eyes. He shook his head and his jaw tightened._

'_Stop.'_

_Amanda decided to keep pushing, sensing her closeness to the goal. She just had to push him over._

'_No one will ever know. I won't ever tell. It will be our secret. You can pretend. You can pretend that she is here.'_

_He grabbed her with such a ferociousness that she could barely breath. She had never felt such passion, not even with Billy and she was suddenly being led to the backroom. He closed the door and leaned against the wall, his breathing tight and his posture open. Amanda took a deep breath and began to do what she was sent to do._

It had been the weirdest sensation she had ever felt. He had not opened his eyes, not once, and he didn't want to hear her talk, silencing her every time a sound had come out of her mouth. It was as if she were there but not there. Someone else was in the room with them and it made her feel out of place and out of sync with what was going on in the President's head. It was only in the last moment, when he had finally whispered the name, that she knew for sure.

'_Olivia. Livvie, sweet baby.'_

There had been a smile on his face, she remembered that as she made her way up the elevator with Quinn Perkins to the offices of Pope and Associates. It had been the biggest smile he had ever given in her presence, his eyes closed and his teeth showing, and she knew he was somewhere else. With a woman he loved but could not have. And then he had opened his eyes and looked down only to see the wrong face. He looked mortified and embarrassed as he stared at her. Ashamed. He had cleaned himself up and said a curt goodbye and she felt hurt for reasons that she didn't want to examine. After that point he avoided her. Didn't look at her. Didn't talk to her as a friend or even as an employee. She was nothing and it hurt her. Hurt her like the men before had hurt her. Hurt her deeply and it was a hurt that drove her now.

The reporter Billy had sent information to was going to stop by Pope and Associates and find her there. That had been the plan. This was the real start. She was ready. She was always ready to perform. And as she looked at the woman who had made the President smile like that, really looked at Olivia Pope, she was ready. Both of them were going down.

* * *

Fitz knew drinking in the Oval Office led to bad things. The first bad thing it had led to was Olivia being beyond mad at him and an infuriated intern who seemed like she was ready to bring his presidency down. The second bad thing it led to was Cyrus Beene looking at him like a disgusted father as he droned on about eagles and arrows on the Presidential Seal. But at this moment he didn't really care. Olivia had saved his pick for Supreme Court Justice and he didn't know whether he was happy or sad about the turn of events. She was still protecting him. Even though she was mad she was still on his side. But she wouldn't talk to him and she wouldn't see him and he felt helpless.

"I told you she wouldn't turn against us, sir." Cyrus said, his disapproval in his actions apparent.

"She is great isn't she?" Fitz admitted. "The best even."

"Better than you probably deserve, Mr. President."

Fitz chuckled. "I actually agree with that Cyrus."

He took another swig of his drink. _'But I still want her. She the love of my life and I still want her.'_

"Why did you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Sleep with Amanda Tanner."

Fitz shook his head because the truth was he still didn't know what possessed him to do what he did with Amanda. What had gone so wrong that night? That he knew, deep down, that Amanda had every right to be mad and hurt by what he did and now he had compounded it with his own lies to Olivia and everyone else. He was a son of a bitch.

"It was a mistake, Cy."

"A mistake that could cost you the presidency. That blurb…"

"Is a blurb in a no count paper. Don't worry yourself into a heart attack. I would never hear the end of it from James."

Cyrus sighed and was about to make an exit when he Fitz called his name again.

"Are you on my side?"

"What?"

"Are you on my side, Cyrus? Can I trust you to be on my side?"

Cyrus paused and gave him a blank look. He then went to the decanter and got a scotch.

"You don't even like scotch , Cy."

"Tonight I do."

They clinked their glasses together and took a drink. And Fitz understood. Cyrus was on his side.


	6. The Garden

Stephen knew she was in too deep. He knew when she had brought that girl into the conference room and demanded the rest of the team that she was a client. She didn't even pretend that they had a choice in taking her. But he also knew that this girl was trouble and not just for herself or the President she claimed to have slept with, but also the woman who had saved him numerous times from himself.

He had crashed a career because of his conscience. He couldn't look at those kids or their parents and do what the partners at his law firm wanted him to do. He'd gone slowly insane, his mind unable to conceive of such casual evil as poisoning an entire community for monetary gain. It wasn't the first case he had had like that but it was the last one he would ever have, his brain giving way to the type of insanity they mocked in movies. It was Olivia that had helped him get back on track. It was Olivia who had given him a purpose. Now he felt it was his turn to help her from personal demons that could not be named.

"You're too close to this."

Olivia pretended as if she didn't hear him at first and shuffled the papers on her desk. "Too close to what?"

"This case. This client. There is a conflict of interest here that there are no words for."

"I'm fine. She's going to talk to the president and then it will be over."

"Do you really believe that or is that what you are telling yourself?"

She put her papers down and gave him a hard look. "I know how to take care of myself."

"And I know that even the great Olivia Pope needs help sometimes. No one will think anything less of you if you let it go."

Olivia shook her head and stood up. "I have a State Dinner to go to."

As she walked past him, Stephen felt a moment of anger at her for putting them in this position but then it eased to a discomfort. A discomfort he hadn't felt since he was a lawyer at his old firm.

* * *

Dancing. That was all it was supposed to be. But he kept staring at her, a mixture of awe and wonder in his face. It was unnerving her and making butterflies in her stomach.

"Stop looking at me."

Fitz looked at her as if she had asked him to fly. The twirled again and he continued to look his hands drifting lower on her back. He was being impossible but her knees felt weak by his actions.

"Stop."

"How can I stop? You look…you look great."

"You can turn your eyes away and we can keep it friendly."

"It has never been "friendly" between us. Why start now?"

She shook her head. "You are impossible."

"And you love it." He gave her small smirk and she couldn't help but give him a small smile back. Wasn't she supposed to be mad at him?

"I have to see you."

"Mr. President…"

"I can't stand another moment out of your arms. And I need to tell you something. I just...meet me at our spot."

A shiver went down her spine. "We can't."

"Yes, we can."

The music stopped and everyone broke apart, clapping.

"This is your State Dinner."

"And I'm going to our spot. I'll see you there."

Olivia watched as he made his way back towards Mellie and then disappeared into one of the hallways. He was so reckless sometimes.

"Liv."

Olivia turned to see Cyrus coming. He grabbed the crook of her arm and they moved to a backroom for privacy.

"Did Amanda tell you she had anything incriminating on Fitz?"

Olivia thought for a moment. "She said she might have something that she was going to share with me later. Why?"

"There is a sex tape. The president and Amanda."

Olivia's mouth dropped open. She couldn't believe this. How could this have happened?

"How? What?"

"I don't know. I received it about a day ago in the mail. It is definitely Fitz. Amanda may be trying to play all of us."

Olivia was confused and didn't understand what was going on. Amanda said she had just wanted to meet the president so why would she try to blackmail him?

"I'll get to the bottom of it."

Cyrus nodded his head and gave her a wink. "I knew you would, kid."

* * *

Olivia tried not to think of the last time she and Fitz had met here and the tears that were shed by them both when she decided to leave her job at the White House. It was a cold memory for her and it was getting colder the closer she got to him. He was looking out at the Washington Monument, his eyes troubled and his stature a bit intimidating. Fitz didn't know that she was there yet and she took a moment to drink him in.

"Livvie. You could never sneak up on me." He turned and gave her a small smile.

"I always tried."

"I was getting worried you weren't going to show. I can guess that Cyrus talked to you."

She came closer and nodded her head. "I want you to know that it wasn't me."

"I know it wasn't you. You wouldn't do something like that."

Olivia shook her head. "I don't really know what I'm capable of lately."

"Not this. The tape…"Fitz put his hands in his pockets and looked at his feet. "It's of us, Livvie."

Olivia looked at him as if she had misheard. He couldn't have said what he just finished saying. This had to be a sick joke.

"No…you…"

"It was us, Livvie. Our first time."

Olivia felt as if her world were coming off its axis. "But…how…"

Fitz came closer to her and she began to shiver. He took off his jacket and put it around her shoulders and then held her as he whispered in her ear.

"I don't know. I don't know. But it was us. It was us, Livvie."

He lifted her chin and she felt confused and numb. All her life she had been above board except for him. He was the one thing she had ever wanted for herself and now in some cruel joke that love was going to take everything else away from her.

"This…is impossible." Olivia shook her head.

"I'm sorry."

"So some asshole has a tape of us!" Fitz was taken aback by her cursing. Olivia rarely cursed. "They want to make a point. Were there any demands with the tape?"

"No. Nothing but the tape."

"I want you to give it to me."

"Livvie…"

"I mean it. Give it to me and I'll handle it."

"Livvie…if the tape ever got out no one would know it was you. My voice is the only clear thing. You don't have to handle this. You can…"

"What? Now you want me to walk away?" Olivia said as she backed away from him. "You don't get to pick and choose."

"I want to protect you." Fitz said as he gathered her back in his arms. "I've done a crap job of that lately but I think that I need to start. I won't let them bring you down with me if that is what is going to happen."

He kissed her softly on the lips and she let him, too tired to fight him or be angry at him. They hugged and kissed each other and it felt like old times when they did nothing but love one another. Both felt that the troubles, fights, and other things could come later. Right then they only had room for love.

* * *

Cyrus called a particular number. It was a number forged with connections and confidentiality that had taken a number of years to collect. He knew who was behind this tape. Amanda Tanner was not going to get away with trying to play him for a fool. He was going to get rid of the problem and that little girl would stop playing games. Permanently.

"Tell Charlie to come see me."

He was going to solve the problem.


	7. And Death Greeted Her

"I'm pregnant."

Amanda Tanner wasn't expecting the look on Olivia's face nor how fast Olivia left out of the apartment after her announcement. Olivia seemed like she had been punched in the gut and her breathing heavy with pain. If Amanda had any doubt that Olivia was with the president or had fallen for him it was removed at that instance. After Olivia had left she dialed Billy's number quickly and he answered with a bit of frustration.

"So you told her?"

"Yes." Amanda said as she flashed back on the look on Ms. Pope's face and felt a twinge of sympathy for the woman. "She's probably going to come back with the pregnancy test soon."

"Good."

"But it's not his baby. And she knows about the tape."

Amanda could hear Billy scoffing through the phone. "It doesn't matter. As long as your story is out there and makes him give up office it won't matter. Hell, the paternity test could come back and people would still believe it was his baby."

Amanda felt an ache in her chest at the thought. She wanted her baby to have a real father and be claimed by one. She didn't want her baby to be haunted by rumors. Rumors had almost destroyed her life when she was younger and her mother insane.

"But Billy, I…I want you…"

"I know, sweetheart. Soon. We'll be together soon but you have to follow the plan. Okay. You have to follow it."

* * *

"What did Fitz tell you?"

Cyrus sighed, knowing that James was going to give him an earful for this when he went back up to bed. Technically it was a Sunday but the sun had yet to come up. And an angry Olivia Pope was not a person you denied entry to.

"He told me the same thing he told you."

"Then why is she pregnant?" Olivia asked, pacing in his study as if she owned the place. "I gave her five tests!"

"That excessive."

"She's pregnant."

"Listen, unless there is some new way to get a girl pregnant through a BJ that I don't know about I don't think it's the President's."

Olivia slowed down and paused and Cyrus let her think, knowing she was close to a breakthrough of some sort.

"Amanda. She told me she was pregnant after I confronted her about the tape. She started to act weird. Like she didn't know what to do or say. I think you might be right. The baby probably isn't the President's."

"So that means?"

"That whoever is behind the tape may be the father of the child."

Cyrus shook his head. "It doesn't matter. What matter is that we get rid of Amanda Tanner."

"Cyrus."

"I mean it, Liv." Cyrus said, leaning back in his easy chair. "You think that you can run her out on a rail? Doesn't matter what the other person blackmails us with as long as she's gone."

"Cyrus, you and I both know that won't solve the problem."

"Might make me feels better."

Olivia's phone began to ring and she picked it up only to rush out the door a moment later citing an emergency at her office. He led her to the door and wished her a good night. It was Sunday and he couldn't deal with this bullshit for today.

"Cyrus, get your ass up here!"

"Yes, dear." Cyrus answered and made his way upstairs to be lectured by his husband.

* * *

It was a great Monday morning for Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III. He hadn't slept so good in about a year and he felt so relaxed that it was almost like he could float on air. Olivia had confessed she still loved him and even though it had happened a couple of days ago he felt like he was king of the world. He had even given his speech writers a break for their mistakes on his speech. Kissing her, holding her, knowing that she still loved him and that a part of her wanted to be with him, be there with him, made him as giddy as a school boy.

"Amand Tanner is pregnant."

And he suddenly fell down to earth with a shattering crash.

"What?"

"Your mistress is pregnant, lover boy."

"Cy…It's not mine."

Cyrus sat back on the sofa and whistled softly to himself for a moment and Fitz got out of his chair to proclaim his innocence.

"It's not mine."

"It probably isn't. But it doesn't matter. That's what she's going to claim."

"We can fix this."

"Olivia can fix this…but with the way you've been acting with her, lying and all, she might want to throw us to the wolves. She was convinced last night that the baby could be yours…though I talked her out of that one."

Fitz rubbed his face and took a deep breath. He felt like walls were closing in on him and he was unsure how to escape. And now Olivia thought that he could have gotten Amanda pregnant. That she thought that at all. He felt as if someone popped his balloon.

"Now, I think that if you want to solve this problem you are going to have to run with the wolves, Mr. President."

"What do you mean?"

"Olivia can do work. She is the best there is but sometimes it takes a war to get things done."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying let me in the game, coach."

Fitz knew what that meant and he didn't know if he had the stomach for the mud and chaos that would fly if he let Cyrus handle this. But a part of him didn't want Olivia involved further in this and knowing that Amanda would go so far as to say she was pregnant was too much.

"I think someone put Amanda up to this." Fitz admitted going through his memories of the girl and how sweet she had seemed. "I don't think that she is doing this by herself."

"That's what Liv said. But I don't think it matters much. Getting rid of her takes care of problems."

"She's a kid, Cyrus. I don't want her blackballed or humiliated. But I do want to know who was behind this. I want you to find that out for me."

Cyrus nodded his head and stood. "As you wish, Mr. President."

* * *

"Huck."

Huck looked up from his computer screen and gave Olivia a once over. He knew she was going through something. Her almost crying in the side office confirmed that for him. But it wasn't his business to pry…just to protect. And he now knew she wanted something.

"I want you to peer into Amanda Tanner's phone records. Who she talked to, who talked to her, everything."

Huck nodded his head as she went out the door and towards home. It was the first time in a long time that she headed home early and he felt uneasy about it. Their last case didn't help matters. A dictator may give up his family but not revenge and Olivia had made a big enemy. But he did what he was asked.

* * *

"Amanda!"

Olivia walked into her house and saw the television on but Amanda wasn't in sight. She walked further into her home and called Amanda's name again only to receive no answer. It was only when she came to the middle of her living room that she saw Amanda's prone body on the floor on the other side of the couch, her hands tied and mouth gagged.

"Oh my god!" Olivia whispered and the hair on the back of her neck stood up. She looked into her hallway to see a man dressed in all black, a black facemask covering everything but his eyes, his body crouched and ready to strike. His eyes signaling death to whoever saw them.


	8. Beat

He moved so swiftly that she was unsure what angle he was coming from. Her face suddenly stung from a blow and Olivia could feel the taste of blood in her mouth. She tried to scream out but he was over powering her, wrapping her in a bear hug and squeezing her tightly. She struggled, her chest feeling as if she were going to explode. Panic came into her like never before as he began to drag her down the hallway and into her room. He was going to kill her. He was going to kill her!

_Calm down, Olivia. Think! _She thought as he began to drag her back to the bedroom. She had been in many physical fights when she was a kid and Huck had taught her some basic skills of self-defense. She just had to calm down and think. She saw her opportunity as the got closer to the bedroom and she lifted her body back and into the wall. The intruder seemed as if he hadn't been expecting that and in shock let her go. She ran back into the living room and threw a small vase at his head. He dodged it and lunged for her but missed. Olivia ran her way into the kitchen and pulled out a knife from her knife holder. The man made his way to the opening of the kitchen and stood still, observing her.

"I don't know what you want." Olivia said, blood spilling out of her mouth and the side of her face bruised. "But if you leave we can forget all about it."

The man said nothing, observing her movements. He once again moved but Olivia was ready for him and cut his hand. The man moved back with pain and blood stained her floor.

"You fucking bitch!" The intruder shouted and then grabbed for her again, catching her. She tried to swing the knife but was unable to cut him again. He twisted her arm and she let out a scream of pain and the knife dropped to the floor. He punched her in the ribs with his free hand and she dropped to her knees to the floor, unable to breath. She felt his bloodstained hands on her throat and looked into his brown eyes as he choked her.

_No. I don't want to die. I can't die. No!_ Olivia hit his forearms but his grip was tight. She was going to fight. She wasn't going to go out without a fight. She had to protect Amanda. That was who he came for and she had messed up his plan. She had to fight. She wanted to live.

She fell on her back as he continued to strangle her, his body weight holding her down and she tried to bring her knees up to no avail. She felt herself weaken but a fight was still in her. She was fighting her need to black out because she knew it meant death.

But she couldn't breathe. She couldn't breathe. Olivia thought of her mother. Her sister. Her Gladiators. Fitz. Her Fitz.

"Olivia!"

She was relieved to find that she could suddenly breathe again and the intruder's weight was suddenly off of her. The intruder had been pushed off of her and thrown to the floor onto his back. She was gathering her breath when she heard two quick gunshots in succession.

"Hu- Huck!" she choked out as she observed him standing over the man, gun in hand.

"Are you ok?" He turned to her, a look of worry on his face.

"Amanda! She…she's knocked out. Don't know…"

"Don't worry about it." Huck knelt beside her as she rested against her dishwasher. "You need to go to the hospital."

"I'm good. A little bruised but good." She looked at the man who had almost killed her. "Take off his mask."

Huck went to the man and did as commanded. A small expression of shock registered on his features.

"What is it? What is it Huck?"

"I know this guy. He trained…he trained me."

"He's CIA?"

"No. Got out. But he was paid. He wouldn't do anything unless he was paid and paid well. This was someone high up. He wouldn't do it for anyone else."

"Then he wanted Amanda." Olivia struggled to get up but only fell back to her butt. She was so tired and everything hurt. Huck was by her in a minute.

"Olivia, you need medical attention. I'll call the team—"

"No! No. I need you to take Amanda."

"That makes no sense."

"Listen to me. Get Amanda out of here and hide her. Hide her so far that even I won't be able to find her. Someone wants her dead and I'm not going to let that happen. Do you hear me?"

"But I'm not leaving you like this!"

"Huck…listen to me. Wipe the gun down and then give it to me."

Huck was hesitant but did what was asked of him. Olivia took the weight of the gun and then stared at the man who was dead in her kitchen.

"I want you to make this look like a robbery gone wrong and then leave. I shot him."

"Olivia…"

"I shot him. He broke into my place, tried to steal my stuff, he beat me up, and I shot him. Do you understand?"

Huck nodded his head and then left the room. She could hear things in her apartment crash. She could then hear the sirens of the police coming, probably from calls from scared and concerned neighbors.

Huck came back into the room. She gazed at him, tired and exhausted.

"Why'd you come?"

"I was worried. Not about this. But I was worried. I wanted to make sure you were okay."

Olivia took a deep breath, still seated. "Thanks. Put me where I need to be to make this believable and get Amanda out of here. And get me my phone."

Huck nodded and then paused. "She was calling Billy Chambers."

Olivia felt dizzy. "Okay. Okay."

* * *

Senator Martinez died in a plane crash and Cyrus found himself wondering how the White House could take advantage of it. He had never been one to dwell on the emotional side of things. Since he was a young man he had learned never to take things personal. When he still resided in the closet and pretended that he was as straight as an arrow he let the barbs about fairies and gays that his colleagues made slide off his back like water on a duck. It hindered his mind to wonder on such things, about if people liked him, about if he made friends. His straightness was merely a cover for his ambition and who he loved or slept with didn't much matter when there were bodies to be buried and messes to be cleaned up.

He had cut his teeth on plenty of fine candidates but none had been finer than Fitzgerald Grant. He was elegant, bright, talented, and a boy scout. Fitz Jr had almost talked his ear off about how his son was going to be the next president and Cyrus had blown him off until he saw him give a speech at a governor's conference and had immediately fell in love with the idea of the boy becoming president.

And after the night was over Fitz would remain president and the threat of Amanda Tanner would be over. And he would usher in the passing of the Dream Act as well. Death served its purposes.

His cellphone rang and he answered it curtly.

"Cy."

"You messed up, Cy."

Olivia's voice sounded strained and tired and he was suddenly concerned about his protégé.

"What's wrong? What's going on?"

"Your hitman is dead. Amanda is still alive."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Cyrus replied, his mind racing.

"The police and ambulance are on their way. I'll say it was…" A cough interrupted her words, "I'll say it was a robbery gone wrong."

"Liv…I don't know…"

"But if you pull this shit again you will wish you were never born. Do you understand? I will destroy you."

"Olivia I don't know what has gotten into your head."

"Don't play me for an idiot. We both know one another too well for that. Billy Chambers is probably your blackmailer and the father of Amanda's baby. You might want to get him before he gets you."

Cyrus stayed silent for a moment. "Are you okay?"

"I'll be okay after some pain killers and a night in the hospital. Don't tell the President…at least not yet."

"Senator Martinez is dead. I can keep him away from the news for a minute."

"Good. And one more thing, Cyrus?"

"Yeah."

"Lose my number."


	9. The Winds of Heaven

"_You're going to laugh at me the entire night?"_

_Olivia bit her bottom lip and then giggled as Fitz tickled her feet after freeing them from her shoes. She lay on the bed, her white blouse open, and he was almost at the edge of the bed on his knees. He was bare chested and she loved how determined he looked as he dropped her legs on the bed._

"_You have to admit forgetting the NRA President's name is rather hysterical. Especially at their own conference."_

"_Not so funny when you need their endorsement for the presidency."_

"_They loved you, Fitz. I wouldn't worry about it."_

_He leaned down and crawled closer until he was laid beside her. She bit her lip again and Fitz shook his head, a devious smile coming to his own lips._

"_I'm sorry but the look on your face when you realized. I thought you were going to fall out right then."_

"_Ha. Ha, Liv. I'll have you know I have impeccable memory."_

"_Really?" _

"_Yep." He smoothed her hair back and gave her bigger grin. She liked spending this time with him. He finally had a small break in his schedule where he had nowhere to go except home. So he had wanted to spend as much time as he could with Olivia knowing that for the next week he would be with Mellie and pretending to be the perfect family man on vacation. But for the night…he was hers._

"_Wasn't so impeccable today."_

"_Caught me at a bad time." His fingertips gently touched the tips of her breast and she inhaled._

"_Really?"_

"_Yep. I was quite the memory person in high school. Even played Romeo in my school play."_

_Olivia small giggles turned into full laughter. _

"_What is so funny about that?"_

"_Oh Romeo!" Olivia said, splaying her arms out, "Wherefore art thou, Romeo?"_

_Fitz tickled her sides for making fun of him and she giggled in return. He kissed her gently on the mouth and then began to remove her shirt and bra._

"_I'm serious, Livvie." Fitz said as he looked at her freed breasts and stomach with a naked desire as he tossed her shirt and bra off the side of the bed. "I was pretty good. And all those verses took a lot of memory. Hell, I remember all the poems I had to remember at Harvard. Not the sign of a man who has a bad memory."_

"_Really?" Fitz began to unbutton the top of her pants. "You and poetry?"_

"_How do you think I learned how to speak so well in front of crowds? In fact, I almost minored in English until my father threw a fit. I can still remember quite a few of them."_

_She touched his face as he paused for a moment, looking into his eyes. "I'll believe that when I see it, Governor." _

"_The fountains mingle with the river, and the rivers with the oceans…"_

"_Shelly? Pulling out the big guns."_

_He gave a deep laugh as he began to slowly peel off her pants and panties. Olivia never knew how she always was the one who ended up naked first but the thought escaped her as he came back up, his body covering hers, to lick her neck._

"_The winds of heaven mix forever with sweet emotion…" He whispered as he slowly moved down her neck and then towards one of her breasts. He enveloped her nipple with his mouth. Her hands instantly went to his curls and his tongue swirl and softly bit, making her nipples hard and aching._

_He raised his head and let his hands explore her breasts as her hands moved to his neck. Both of them moaned at their touches. Fitz began to kiss her down the middle of her chest, between her breasts and then to her stomach. Olivia felt as if she couldn't breathe and she was so wet for him. She couldn't stand it. _

"_Nothing in the world is single…"_

_His tongue circled her belly button and she felt herself clinch. Her fingers found his hair again as he kissed her stomach and licked, his words starting a fire in her that she knew would never be quenched._

"_All things by law divine…"_

_He lowered further and Olivia held her moan, irrationally afraid he would stop if he heard her. If she made a sound. And she didn't want him to stop. She never wanted him to stop._

_He hovered over her mound and blew softly and she almost gargled in frustration. He was a master at this. The champ. If there was a trophy for going downtown he would get it every time. Fitz gazed up at her and gave her a grin and wet his lips with his tongue. His grey blue eyes were hungry. Hungry for her and she didn't know how she could stand it. How he could have so much power over her with just a look?_

"_Fitz!" She whispered._

"_In one another's being mingle—"_

_He licked her slit with a degree of control that it drove her insane and then pulled back, his grin growing bigger._

"_Son of a bitch! Stop teasing!" Olivia said as she pulled on his head, her legs widening for him. He moved forward and went to work._

"_God…Fitz. Shit!"_

_It felt as if he knew every button to push with his tongue and his hands. He would go slow, then rapid, then slow again teasing out her orgasm like it was a symphony. She had reached her crescendo with ease, her climax sneaking up on her like devil in the night. He was suddenly above her, hard and demanding.  
_

"_Why not I with thine?" Fitz said, his voice raspy with desire. He spread her legs further part and moved home. _

_She didn't know where she ended and he began as he began his rhythmic thrusts. There were not many words as his cock moved as if it had a mind of its own inside of her. She grabbed on to him harder, her moans and gasps driving him one._

"_Livvie. Shit…So good. So wet. God."_

_She licked his ear and then squeezed getting an instant response from him. He was surprised when she flipped them over aggressively and rode out her own desire for him._

"_That the way you want it, Sweet baby?" Fitz whispered as she rocked her hips on top of his. "Take me home then."_

_She arched her back and came with a cry she didn't think she was capable of and she felt him move below her to join in on the fun. They both found themselves smiling, sweaty and breathing hard in the aftermath and her head found its way on to his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead._

"_And the sunlight clasps the earth…" Fitz whispered again, gazing into Olivia's eyes as if she were the sunlight he was talking about. "…and moonbeams kiss the sea—"_

_Olivia clasped Fitz's hand and she thought on their situation. About who he was going home to after he left her hotel room. It hurt her but she would never tell him that. The high she felt from their lovemaking was disappearing with reality. The reality that he was someone else's husband. Someone else's man. That in a few hours he would be sneaking out of her and leaving her alone in the bed, missing him. She kissed his lips gently and looked at him with all the love she could._

"_What are all these kissing worth," Olivia finished for him, "if thou kiss not me?"_

_Fitz swallowed, suddenly understanding the change in her mood, and then kissed her again on the mouth._

"_I love you. Nobody but you, Livvie. Know that."_

"Are you ever going to tell us what is really going on or do we have to dig it up ourselves?"

Olivia woke out of her daydream only to find members of her team staring at her in her hospital bed.

"It was…"

"And don't you dare say it was a robbery attempt. We know a fake crime scene when we see one." Harrison said, his arms crossed. Abby stayed silent but Olivia could sense the anger under the surface. She knew Abby seeing her like this, beaten and bruised, brought up bad memories for the investigator.

"Where is Amanda Tanner, by the way?" Stephen asked and Olivia shook her head.

"She's safe. She's with Huck."

"Okay, now since that is out of the way, what the hell is going on?"

* * *

Fitz was about to walk off the podium when he heard the question. It was customary for reporters to shout out at the president when he finished his remarks and for the president to ignore them to get to the people's business. He had lost a dear friend and didn't feel like giving the Washington Press Corps any more than he already had. But then a series of words that formed into a question came into his ears and embedded itself in his brain.

"What is your opinion of Olivia Pope's, your former deputy communications officer, home invasion last night?"

He paused as if he were a deer in the headlights. Home invasion. What was he talking about? Olivia was fine. She was fine. He made his way back to the podium and cameras began to flash.

"What are you talking about?"

"Haven't you heard sir? Olivia Pope is in the hospital. And intruder broke into her home and she shot and killed him. What are your opinions on this matter?"

Fitz felt frozen. Like the world suddenly stopped spinning. The only thing he registered was "hospital" "Olivia" and "killed" but it wasn't making sense. None of it made sense.

"I had…I…I wasn't informed." Fitz numbly said. He wasn't sure when Cyrus came to the stage and began to shoo him, away shouting at reporters that the conference was over. All he could think was Olivia.

_Olivia. Olivia hurt. Olivia. Hospital. Dead. Olivia hurt. Killed. _The mantra continued in his head as Cyrus lead him through the hallway and finally into an empty office.

"Mr. President?"

Fitz wasn't sure when he had sat down or what was going on. All he could think of was Olivia. Of getting to Olivia.

"Is she okay?" Fitz almost didn't recognize his own voice, it was so strained. "She's alive. She has to be alive."

Cyrus nodded his head. "She's alive. Tough one she is."

Fitz let out a breath he hadn't even known he had held. "What happened? How bad?"

Cyrus eyed him curiously but gave him an answer. "She talked to me earlier. She's is fine."

"It wasn't a robbery was it? Someone was trying to hurt her?"

Cyrus stayed silent and Fitz had his answer. He felt an anger build in his chest. He was mostly a laid back guy, he wasn't easily angered, but the thought of someone hurting Olivia made him want to kill. Made him want to use all his power in the world to destroy.

"Who?"

Cyrus didn't answer and Fitz raised himself to his full height.

"You know where every body is buried, Cy. Who?"

"Sir…"

"I want a goddamn answer!"

Cyrus took a step back, surprised at the fury that the President was showing. Fitz didn't care. He wanted to kill. To kill and hurt whoever had hurt his Livvie.

"Sir…if I tell you, have to promise…"

"Who? I swear to God I will tear this place apart if you don't give me an answer!"

"It was Billy Chambers. Billy did everything."

* * *

Billy Chambers was not in a good mood. The plan was going so well. Everything had been going so well. But now Olivia Pope was in the hospital and Amanda was gone. She wouldn't return his calls or answer his texts. Had she run away? Or was there something else going on? Was she dead?

"Shit! Shit! Shit!" Billy cursed as he paced in his office. He had never imagined it would go this far. It was supposed to be so simple but the idiots around him. That idiot Amanda and that stupid reporter Gideon were messing it up. Messing it all up.

His door swung open suddenly and he saw the furious eyes of the President make their way into his office, a nervous and panicked Cyrus behind him.

"Mr. President! Are you ready to talk to-"

He never saw the punch from President Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III coming.

**A/N: The poem recited by Fitz is 'Love's Philosophy' by Percy Bysshe Shelley and all credit belongs to him for the words. **


	10. The Protector

Amanda Tanner knew she was heading South and that was all she knew. This man, a man who Olivia Pope had called Huck, had not said much. There was no radio playing music and the broke down car that they had been riding in was the only noise that was made. She never thought it would be this way. That someone would try to kill her. It was something out of a nightmare, his hand over her mouth, her breath going slower and slower as the harsh chemical made its way into her lungs. She was awakened in the back of this car and screamed. Huck had to pull over to get her together, to assure her she was safe, and she quieted. But she didn't quite believe him and still didn't believe him fully.

"If I wanted you dead, you would have never regained consciousness." Were Huck's words of assurance as he drove. That didn't make her feel better.

"Where are we going? Where are you taking me?"

"Somewhere safe. A place where you and your baby won't get hurt."

"Who did this?"

"Someone who is a very bad person." Huck answered his eyes checking the rear view window to see if someone was following them. Amanda stayed silent, not knowing how to feel.

"I have to call someone."

"No." Huck looked ahead again, squinting into the sunlight. "If you want to stay alive you cannot have contact with anyone. Do you understand?"

Amanda nodded her head and looked out of the window.

* * *

"See, Olivia, I have a problem with your story."

Olivia took in a deep breath and gazed at the very annoyed expression of David. Her head hurt, her throat was sore, and she was having the worst time in the world ignoring the pain in her side. She didn't need this. She had already been through this with her team she damn sure didn't want to do it with him. The only reason she was glad to see him was so she would stop getting the third degree from them.

"Like I told you, David, I walked into my apartment, the man was going through my stuff, we scuffled, I got my gun from the kitchen cabinet after the knife didn't work, and I shot him. Are we done?

"I just have the biggest feeling that that isn't what happened."

"Well, if you want to charge me you are more than welcomed too. But I seriously don't know what my employees will think about it or what they will do." Olivia coolly threatened. "Not to mention the fact that you'll be dragging a battered and beaten woman to the police station in handcuffs from the hospital. Not a good look for you."

David shook his head. "Stop playing games, Olivia. We both know that this wasn't a robbery gone wrong and if I didn't know better I would say someone was after you."

"Oh, cute. You concerned?"

"It won't be cute if I have to see you as a slab in the morgue."

Olivia gave a slight flinch but covered that over with cool indifference. "I'm about to be released. Are we finished here?"

"You know my number. If you finally decide not to hinder my investigation and actually care about your life you know where to find me."

* * *

Cyrus had been many things in his life but stupid was never one of them. He'd seen plenty of fights in his time. Fights over money. Fights over power. Hell, he'd even seen a fight once over a seat on an airplane. Men fought over many things but he could recognize this one anywhere. He had a glimpse of it when the President had been on the podium that had his curiosity. His curiosity turned into a persistent thought as the President demanded to know who had hurt Olivia. But it was Fitz punching the hell out of Billy Chambers that confirmed it.

_Oh my god! He's in love with Olivia. _

He would deal with that later but getting the President to stop trying to kill Billy Chambers was number one on the list. He tried to grab the man, who was now over top of Billy and hitting him with cold calculation, but he was not strong enough to overpower the younger man.

"Sir! Mr. President, stop!"

"You thought you could hurt her and I wouldn't know!" Fitz said as he threw another punch.

"Sir, I don't know what you are talking about!" Billy whimpered trying to put his hands in front of his face.

"The hell you don't! You try to use two innocent women against me?" Fitz looked absolutely insane with rage his facial features twisted in ways Cyrus had never seen.

"No! Sir, no!"

"Try to use Amanda against me? Hurt Olivia? Because you were too much of a coward to face me yourself! "

Another punch landed and it was then that Cyrus saw the blood on Billy's shirt. He yanked Fitz up and then pulled him away as the Secret Service made their presence known in the room. The put an arm on Cyrus to let him know he had to let go of the President and he complied. Which only lead to Fitz attacking the rising Billy again.

"Sir! Get a hold of yourself, Mr. President." Cyrus yelled as the Secret Service pulled the president off of the prone man who was holding his bleeding nose on the floor.

"Get him the hell out of my sight before I kill him!" Fitz said, his eyes ablaze with fury and passion. He then brushed the Secret Service off of him and left the room. Cyrus looked at Billy, who was still on the floor, and then the retreating back of the President.

"What the hell was that, Cyrus?" Billy whimpered, blood coming down his mouth. A few aides ran into the room with towels and ice.

"You fucked with the wrong president is what happened, Billy boy."

* * *

His right hand ached but he didn't care. He saw Mellie down the hallway and noted her look of concern but then walked pass her. He knew Cyrus and Mellie were behind him but he didn't care. He wanted a phone. He needed a phone that was secure and made the request known to his secret service agent on the phone. He needed to talk to her. Now.

He told his secretary that he was to have no interruptions and curtly slammed the oval office door shut in Cyrus' face. He wasn't in the mood. He didn't feel like hearing a lecture. He didn't feel like knowing he wasn't living up to his father's legacy or his mother's dream for him. He didn't care if Mellie thought him weak. He just wanted to hear her voice. He just wanted to know, for himself, that she was ok.

The phone rang and an agent at the other end made it clear that his private study line was secure. He walked into the side room, picked up the phone, and then dialed her number.

"_Pope."_

"Are you okay?" He didn't mean for it to come out so harshly.

"_Mr. President."_

"Livvie! Are you ok? Answer me!"

"_Fitz."_ He closed his eyes at the sound of his name. _"I'm fine."_

"Then why were you in the hospital? What happened?"

"_I told Cyrus not to tell you."_

"He didn't." Would Cyrus have never told him? "And **you **should have told me, Livvie."

"_Then how…?"_

"News reporter."

"_Dammit."_

"Dammit is a good word for it. I was so worried, Liv."

"_It's just a couple of bruises. I'm back at my office."_

That didn't make him feel any better and his imagination went wild with thought of her bruised and battered. It made him want to go to her and then find Billy Chambers and hurt him some more.

"I don't care if it is a couple of bruises. I'm giving you protection."

"_Fitz…I don't need…"_

"Yes, you do. No arguments."

He heard her sigh through the phone and knew that was a signal of her silent agreement. Her safety was not a negotiable topic right now for him.

"_You haven't done anything stupid have you?"_

"I beat the shit out of Billy Chambers if that's what you mean."

"_Mr. President!"_ Olivia shouted and he knew she was mad. _"What in the hell is wrong with you?"_

"He hurt you." Was the simple answer. He heard silence on the other end of the phone and knew she was upset with him. He didn't care.

"_Do you know how much trouble you can be in? You can't do that!"_

"I don't care. He hurt you."

"_I don't know what to do with you."_

"I want to see you."

"_No! Absolutely not."_

"I need to see you. I need to know you are ok. Come to the White House so we can meet face to face."

"_This is not what we are doing. I'm fine, Fitz. I'm fine."_

Fitz stayed silent and then sighed. "When I found out I thought I would stop breathing."

"_Fitz."_

"I want to hold you so badly right now. Baby, I love you so much and the thought of you hurt...that I couldn't protect you...It's tearing me up, Livvie."

He heard her breath through the phone and wanted to drop it right then and go to her. He didn't care who knew. He wanted to be with her, take care of her, make sure she was protected, and the thought that he was unable to do so because of his position was making him insane. The most powerful man in the world but unable to comfort the woman he loved.

"_I'm okay. Go back to work. Stop thinking about me. I'll take care of it. Billy and everything. Don't worry."_

"Ok. But you have to see me soon or I'm not guaranteeing anything."

"_Fitz."_

"I mean it. I'm having a hard time not stealing a car and heading to your office."

A soft giggle reached him and it helped him feel a lot better. If she could still giggle than she was doing okay.

"_And smooth things over with the Vice President. I don't think she'll find you hitting her chief of staff very amusing."_

"Probably not." Fitz admitted. "I love you."

"_I love you, too. Don't do anything foolish."_

The other side of the line went dead and Fitz hung up on his side of the line. If she thought he was going to stay away from her when she was hurting, she had another thing coming.


	11. The Intervention

Amanda settled on the bed and wondered what had happened to her life and then knew that the truth of the matter was that her life had never been a good one. One of her first memories was of her mother singing in the front yard in her underwear, her father running out with a blanket to cover both her body and mind from her neighbors in the noon day sun.

_There goes the crazy woman's daughter, _they would whisper. Didn't matter who it was. Her classmates. Neighbors. Sometimes even people who she thought were her friends. She had been such a smart girl but it didn't matter to them. So she did what she had to to find acceptance. Boys would come for her in the night and her father would chase them away with his bat that he kept in the garage. Then would come the lectures and the berating about how she was better than this. That she was raised better.

It didn't matter. When her mother finally went so across the bend that they had to lock her up she had gone to college and did what she wanted to do. There she wasn't the crazy woman's daughter but she was the slut who gave it up to easily. The men who were really boys would say such sweet things to her until they got what they wanted and then they left her alone. She would see them later snickering in the quad with their friends or making crude gestures. Amanda pretended it didn't hurt but it did. She hid her STD and pretended it never happened.

But inside her she wanted to help. She wanted to make a difference in the world for other little girls like her. Her own religious background started to become important and mean something though she was unsure of what. But it made her drift less. Made her feel less alone in the world.

Amanda had joined Sally Langston's campaign because she believed it would be good to have a woman president. That maybe then there would never be girls like her in the world or women like her mother, going crazy for some reason or another. Maybe if a woman had power it would make the difference in the world.

Then she met Billy and it was as if a light had turned on. He was funny, kind, considerate, and caring. She had become a little obsessed with him to be honest. It had been the love she craved and she would do anything for his touch. His warmth. His love. Even give her body up one more time for the greater good.

Huck watched her as she began to cry and he seemed like a curious dog as he approached her, shy and a bit bashful. She wiped her eyes.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

Huck gave a shrug and then went to sit in a chair by the window. Amanda hugged herself as the tears continued to come.

"I get it."

Amanda looked shocked as Huck gazed at her. "Get what?"

"What that's like. To have someone use you like that. Billy Chambers, he used you to get rid of the President didn't he?"

"I wasn't used."

Huck didn't respond to that and there was silence for a moment. Amanda noticed that Huck's hands were trembling and he seemed as if he didn't know whether to put them in his lap or on the table beside him.

"The government took away everything I was." Huck admitted. "I was a kid. I didn't know any better. Sounded like fun. Go all over the world, help your country, and get money. But I was wrong."

His twitching grew more intense and Amanda felt a small amount of fear creep up her spine. She knew crazy when she saw it and it was reminding her of her mother so much.

"I didn't know they were using me. I thought I was in control but I wasn't. They used my body…my body to do horrible things. I wasn't me anymore. I was an animal. Their animal. And I thought I loved it. I thought I loved the agency. I would do anything for my country. Anything for my country. But I was nothing but their toy. Nothing but their toy to be used...to be used and discarded."

Amanda felt sick to her stomach and ran to the bathroom to throw up. She wanted him to stop talking. To stop reminding her of herself.

* * *

Olivia couldn't say that she was surprised to find the entire team in the conference room, there faces serious and all business. She had been avoiding their questions all day, focusing herself on their new client and the airplane crash. She didn't want to talk about the other day or about David continuing to press her on man killed in her apartment. But now she knew that this was the reckoning. That now was the moment where she had to say something or her team would go nuts.

"Just go ahead and say what you have to say." Olivia walked to a chair and sat in it slowly. She was still sore from the assault.

"This has something to do with the President." Abby accused. "Ever since they called you to Camp David you have been acting funny. Then that girl, Amanda Tanner shows up.

"Yes." Olivia admitted.

"This is bad." Harrison whispered.

"You need to tell us everything, Liv. If we are going to help you, you have to tell us everything." Stephen said.

Olivia suddenly knew what was going on. She knew that tone of voice from Stephen. He had used that voice on many a client.

"Is this an intervention?" Olivia asked, her voice sounding shocked. "Am I a client right now?"

"We aren't saying that." Harrison contributed.

"But that is what this is. I cannot believe this!"

"Olivia, if we are going to help you and protect you we have to know."

Olivia suddenly stood up and moved to her office. No one stood to stop her or change her course. They were surprised when she returned with a CD.

"The president received thi a couple of day ago. It's an audio of him having sex."

Everyone looked dumbfounded by this new information. Olivia walked to a CD player in the room and then turned up the volume.

"_Take your clothes off."_

"That is definitely him." Harrison said as he sat up in his chair. A moan pierced the room and it took a few seconds for his eyes to get wide as he recognized the tone and the timber of the voice. Harrison didn't know whether he should share this information or how to respond to what he was sure he was hearing.

"Is that Amanda?" Abby asked.

Stephen read Harrison's shocked face and then Olivia's. Then the realization hit him as well.

"No. Olivia, please tell me…"

"It's me. I'm the woman on the tape."

* * *

"We have to talk about Olivia, sir."

Fitz felt as if he had been on a roller derby the entire two days since he had last talked to Olivia. The Dream Act was coming up for a vote and he felt himself getting pulled further and further away from going to see Olivia till all he thought about was going to see Olivia. He did enjoy raking Vice President Langston over the coals, both for her vote on the Dream Act and firing Billy Chambers. He enjoyed getting legislators to do the right thing in honoring his friend with a yes vote on the bill. But more and more it was becoming more difficult to not go see Olivia. He thought of the scenario over and over again in his head. And now here was Cyrus to throw cold water on it.

"What about Olivia?"

"Sir, I know you are in love with her."

Fitz paused from twisting his chair and went still. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Mr. President, I may be gay but I know when a man loves a woman. Your reaction to Billy. Being on pins and needles since you learned about the attack. And do you think I don't know you've been questioning the Secret Service to go to her place?"

Fitz suddenly felt agitated by Cyrus. Annoyed and angry. He began to twist in his chair again.

"What if I am? What business of it is anyone's?"

"Sir…this is crazy and fucking stupid. And a waste of your time."

"Why is it a waste?" Fitz was genuinely curious and Cyrus gave him an incredulous look as if he had lost his mind.

"You are married, sir. You have two beautiful children and a wife that cares about you."

Fitz gave a laugh about that and Cyrus seemed be getting upset himself.

"This is craziness, Mr. President. Wasn't Amanda enough to get your rocks off with? Now you want Olivia too."

"Don't you ever compare Amanda to Olivia!" Fitz slammed his hand on the desk and Cyrus jumped back.

"It won't happen. Just stop thinking it will. Olivia is one of my best students and she won't be with you. She doesn't even think of you that way, Mr. President."

"She doesn't?" Fitz said and Cyrus gazed at him with an uneasiness he hadn't felt in a long time.

"No. She a political nun, remember?"

"I remember." Fitz said softly. "Maybe you don't know her like you think you know her."

Cyrus froze at that. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"What? The great Cyrus Beene, fixer of fixers, the sausage man, the perfect observer, got his girl wrong?"

"Sir, if you are implying…"

"She loves me, Cy!" Fitz said with a smile. "That's what you don't know. That's what she and I have been hiding from you for years."

Cyrus felt his hands ball into fist and his left arm began to hurt. Fitz gave him a predatory glare.

"You didn't know? Not even suspect?"

"No…no, I didn't know."

"Now you do. And if you think you are going to keep her away from me you got another thing coming."

"You stupid son of bitch." Cyrus said quietly, his fury building. "After all I've done! All I've sacrificed—"

"All you've sacrificed?" Fitz rose from his chair. "All you've sacrificed?"

"Yes, all I've sacrificed!"

"What the hell do you know about sacrifice?" Fitz said circling around the Resolute Desk.

"A lot more than you do, flyboy. You aren't fit to be President."

"Yet here I am!" Fitz shouted. "Here I am! And I don't want to be here. That is the honest to gods truth. I'm in hell! My whole life I've given up everything I wanted. Everything I was passionate about because I thought that this was my destiny. That's what you, my dad, my mom, Mellie, and everyone said to me. I was born to be president! I was born to lead! Fuck that!"

"You selfish, ungrateful little son of a bitch!" Cyrus said and bumped up against him. "Boo hoo! Poor you. Born with a silver spoon in your mouth and a good head of hair. I'm supposed to feel sorry for you? I'm supposed to cry because the poor little rich boy never wanted this?"

"You don't have to do a damn thing, Cyrus." Fitz's eyes became steely. "I want your resignation on my desk by Monday."

Cyrus was taken aback. "Excuse me sir?"

"I not going to repeat myself. On Monday morning you will send out a statement that you are leaving your position as Chief of Staff effective immediately."

"You…I…"

"I'm done, Cyrus. I'm done with the games. I'm done with the lies. I'm done pretending to be who I'm not. And I'm done with you. Stay out of my way and I hope you have a great life with James."

Fitz walked towards the door of his office only to feel a hand grab his arm. He turned back to see a look of both anger and fear on Cyrus' face.

"This is not a game you want to play, Mr. President. I could bury you. Destroy you."

"I don't care." Fitz answered honestly. Cyrus let his hand go and watched him walk out the door.


	12. Valley of Threads

Olivia could already feel his presence in her office before she even turned around. It was a much different feel from Fitz, a different sound to his walk born of years of being the man hidden in the shadows and controlling all the players on the chessboard. She turned as he closed the door behind him, the rage on his face one she had seen leveled against a countless number of his enemies but this was the first time it was leveled against her.

"Cyrus."

How could she state their relationship? To say he was like a father would have been a lie and disrespectful to her real one who had died when she was seven years old. Her father who had tried to raise her with as many values as he could before he died of cancer at the very young age of forty eight and left her mother a widow and she and her sister without the stable presence of a father in their lives. Values that had been broken down and scattered by life after her father's death. Cyrus had been her teacher. He had been the one who shaped her. Who molded her to what his image of the world was and how to manipulate it to her likening. To make people see what you wanted them to see was a delicate art and Cyrus was the master. She often didn't like the end result when she was fixing with him. At her lower moments she felt as if she would burst from the guilt of some of the things he did that she had allowed. That she had let slide of her back.

But their relationship was complicated. She loved him not as a father but as a man she held dearer to her heart than any other before Fitz. She breathed by his rules. By his mottos. By his dictates. He was the closest thing to God she had ever know in her life at one point and nothing he could ever do could would separate them. Could pull them apart. Until now.

"So the president fired me today."

Olivia held back her shock but didn't do a good job at it. "Cyrus…"

"You know I've dedicated a better part of my life to my country. I was a boy scout. Would have been a marine if my damn medical conditions didn't keep kicking my ass. I got into politics to make a difference. To do my part to make the country I loved better. I might not have played by the rules or may have played to the refs but I did my best."

Cyrus paused and Olivia didn't respond. She didn't know what to say but the rage in his face buried itself into her soul.

"Fitz is a good boy. He's a bit of a bastard but you know you take what you can get when you got that much potential in front of you. He was my dream, I'm not ashamed to admit that. That man is my dream and he could've been a great president. Men can't be dreams though can they? They're too flawed. Too caught up in themselves. Too human. I can accept that. President Fitzgerald Grant is a flawed dream. Not perfect but I could've fixed that. I could have made that man the greatest president this nation has ever seen."

"Cyrus…"

"But you know what I can't fix? I can't fix something that I didn't create. Not when he is only thinking about one thing. Not when he's thinking about you."

Olivia didn't bother to hide her shock this time. "What are you talking about Cyrus?"

"He told me about your little affair. That he's in love with you. You know that idiot was trying to find a way to sneak out of the White House to come see you?"

Olivia had never felt so exposed in her life and wanted to go underneath the floor in mortification. Cyrus nodded his head.

"So it is true. The great Olivia Pope is sleeping with the President. Or was. Don't care to get into the details. And you know what is killing me right now? What is making me feel so mad that I can't think?"

Olivia stayed silent, unsure about what to think or feel.

"Fitz was my dream but you were my masterpiece."

Olivia felt as if the wind had been knocked out of her but she kept it inside. She couldn't let Cyrus see her sweat too much or he was going to pounce. She knew him too well.

"You were perfect. The perfect student. The perfect employee. The perfect weapon. You were like the Mona Lisa or Michelangelo's David. I loved watching you work knowing that you were going to separate your emotions from the job like I taught you. That you weren't going to let values or morals get in the way of doing the job. That you wouldn't be affected by the client. You were the perfect fixer and now you are ruined for a tawdry affair."

"Cyrus, I think you need to leave." Olivia felt herself getting angry.

"What? You don't like hearing the truth? That you are Fitz's cum bucket and mewling whore?"

Olivia felt so disgusted and physically repulsed by what Cyrus had said she took a step back. How dare he?

"Cyrus, right now I could have the D.A. come to my office and tell him about the little hit that you planned for Amanda Tanner. Don't push it."

"I taught you better than that. I taught you much better than all of this. And don't act like you were surprised by what I did. I protect the president. I make sure he doesn't mess himself up. You know that."

"I would never go that far!"

"You never had to! I was always the bad guy, remember? The one who got the bullshit while you and Fitz yucked it up in the back of the bus. So don't you fucking judge me on what I've had to do! Be lucky you lived and continue to live after that attack."

"Cyrus, you need to leave."

Cyrus chuckled to himself for a moment. "You know somebody said that politics is like being in a valley of threads. Threads so delicate that they break on touch and you have to maneuver just so or that's it for you. Break the wrong thread and you're done. I might be done in this town. The president might not return my phone calls. He might even pretend that I never existed in his life but I'll be damned if I won't make you break a thread as well. Take it from your old mentor, kid. The mistress never becomes a wife. You will always be the chick on the side no matter how much Fitz says he loves you or thinks he loves you. Maybe you can get a book deal outta this and retire to a quiet life but you'll never fix in this town again."

"You want a war then you got it. I'm not scared."

"You should be." Cyrus gave a curt nod and then made his way out of the office. Abby peeked her head in the door and gave her a look. Olivia nodded to give the signal that she was okay.

She was anything but okay.

* * *

"Cyrus talked to me."

Fitz wasn't in the mood to hear anything from Mellie. He wasn't in the mood to hear anything from anyone. He didn't know if it was because he felt he couldn't talk to Olivia and see her like he wanted to or that he felt isolated and alone without Cyrus there to help guide him through. But what he didn't want right now was a lecture from his wife. He didn't want anything from his wife.

At one point after his daughter Karen had been born he believed he could love Mellie. That maybe the baby would soften her and make her more open to him as a husband. They had created something so special together and someone they both loved deeply and truly. Maybe there was a chance to have a better marriage and relationship. Maybe there was a chance to find a real love.

That fantasy had stopped as soon as he ran for his congressional seat. If anything the birth of their daughter had made Mellie more determined that he would be a great man. That his daughter would be the daughter of a president and never want for anything. Fitz became less of a man and more of an image to Mellie and their marriage suffered more and more under the strain. It was now practically nonexistent though they both put on a friendly façade to hide the emptiness of their lives together. She had been nicer after moving into the White House and he had tried to be a much better husband than he had been which threw his relationship with Olivia into a tailspin that ended with her leaving. Now he was sick of it. Sick of pretending. Sick of lying to everyone about how he felt.

"Not now, Mellie."

"Cyrus has been a great friend to us. I don't know why you let him go."

"Because he hasn't been a great friend." Fitz turned to her and looked at her sitting on the bed in the residence. "He hasn't been a great friend at all."

"He's gotten you where you needed to be. I'll call him…"

"You don't touch that phone. This discussion is over."

Mellie looked taken aback. "You need to talk to Olivia."

"You need to keep her name out of your mouth."

"Fitzgerald Grant! I don't know what is wrong with you but I don't deserve your anger. Yes, Olivia was hurt but you didn't need to take it out on Cyrus."

Fitz checked his watch. The press pool was about to go home for the day. Good.

"This isn't any of your affair, Mellie. I know you want to help and I know you think you're doing the right thing but I don't want to hear any of this right now."

Fitz felt the shift in the room and could tell from Mellie's body language was gearing up for a fight.

"You need to hear it. You need to understand that you dick has gotten you into trouble and it is making bad decision that will affect your whole family."

Fitz scoffed, "What would you know about my dick?"

"Enough to know that it fucked Amanda Tanner and that it could bring down your presidency. I've…We've worked too hard for you to mess this opportunity up. Get Olivia Pope out of your mind and get your shit together."

Fitz shook his head and grabbed his jacket off of a chair. "This has been an interesting conversation Mellie, but I got to go do some paperwork."

He walked out knowing where he needed to go.

* * *

At least her apartment wasn't a wreck anymore. Stephen had made sure that a cleaning surface had gone over every nook and cranny so that no one would ever suspect a man had been killed here. That no one would suspect that she had almost been killed here in her home but she knew. She would always know. Both Harrison and Stephen had volunteered to spend the night but she had made them go home, wanting to be strong in the face of what had happened. Olivia Pope never cowered from a challenge.

The knock was soft but it still shook her. She moved to the peep hole to check who was there and started to tremble with fear. The trembles stopped when she saw who was on the other side. She opened it and Fitz gave her a small smile that was soon replaced with a look of concern and worry at her appearance and the fading bruises on her face and the healing cut on her lip. He tenderly reached for her face and touched the purple and black bruised skin on her cheek as if he were touching priceless art. She knew he didn't want to hurt her more and felt frustrated by the fact that he'd come but also feeling safe with his presence. She moved back as Fitz entered the apartment and closed the door behind him and then she was in his arms, him holding her in a gentle hug.

"My poor sweet baby. What did he do to you?"


	13. The Slayer of Dragons

Olivia felt so safe in his arms and she always did from the first time he held her. Some men when they held her felt overwhelming with their presence, making her feel hot and if she couldn't breathe. Some men were too loose with their hugs and she almost didn't feel them at all. But Fitz's hugs made her feel like Goldilocks, just right. She fit just right into his arms and nothing had felt better to her. He knew how to hold her, to feel her, to be in sync with her to the point where nothing mattered but them. She leaned her head into his chest and felt his finger going through her hair slowly and his lips on the crown of her head. But in her head she knew that she couldn't stay there. That she had to be strong for both her benefit and for his. She put her hands on his chest and then pushed feeling the bubble of safety and warmth between them break.

"Liv..what are you doing?"

"You shouldn't be here."

He was still holding onto her forearms gently and shook his head no. He was going to fight her on this and she didn't feel like fighting but she had to. She had already let this get too far and go for too long.

"Livvie, don't shut me out."

"Cyrus saw me today."

He let go of her arms and then crossed his own over his chest. "What did he say?"

"He wasn't happy."

A flash of danger went across his greyish blue eyes. "Did he threaten you?"

Silence answered him and Olivia saw his jaw tighten as he uncrossed his arms. Fitz put his hands in his pocket because he knew that she knew what it meant when he started to ball his hands into fists. Olivia began to hug herself not really knowing what to do and she saw his posture loosen and suddenly he was in her space again, gently holding her face in his hands. Olivia hadn't realized that she was starting to cry.

"I hate seeing you like this." Fitz confessed as he kissed her tears. "I don't want to fight. I'm so tired of fighting."

Their foreheads came together and his arms came around her again. "I don't want to fight either, Fitz. But…"

"No buts." Fitz said as he kissed her forehead, his lips a cool balm to her hot brow. "We aren't fighting. Not tonight. Tonight you are a woman who needs to be taken care of and I'm the man who is going to do that."

"You're marr—"

"Shh…stop it, Livvie. Stop fighting us. Look at me."

She did and saw so much love and concern in his eyes it took her breath away. He gave her a tender kiss on her lips and then found her eyes again.

"You are hurt. You probably haven't been taking care of yourself because you are a control freak." He stopped at Olivia's knowing grin and grinned himself. "You always take care of other people, Liv. You fix their hurts and their pains and try your damnedest to make it better for them. You are the most confident, dynamic, and caring person I have ever met. I love you for it."

Fitz's forehead came to Olivia's again and they nuzzled together for a moment before he began again, his eyes finding hers once more.

"You slay the dragons, baby. You are like one of those knights that help rescue people in fairytales. You always take care of everybody and I want to take care of you. I want you to get what you need. Do you understand? Let me slay some dragons for you, for once."

"Fitz…"

"You've taken such good care of me, Livvie. Let me take care of you. For one night…" He kissed her lips. "I'm just Fitz and you're just Livvie and I am taking care of the woman I love."

She felt the tears come down her checks and fell into his chest again, going closer to him.

"Okay."

"Okay, what?"

"I'll let you." She looked up to him. "I'll let you take care of me."

* * *

Fitz felt so relieved he thought he was going to burst. For a moment he believed she was going to try to kick him out and he would embarrass himself, her, his secret service agents, and the entire apartment building by banging and yelling at her door to regain reentry. Because after seeing how badly she was hurt he was not going to let it go. Seeing the bruises, the marks, and an almost broken look on her face raised up a protective side of him he only felt with his children and he wasn't going to let it go. The woman he loved was hurt and he was going to make sure she got what she needed come hell or high water.

Fitz kissed her bruised cheek and nuzzled her nose again. "Have you had a chance to eat?"

"I ate lunch."

"Livvie..." Fitz sighed leading her to her sofa. "You need to eat."

"I tried. I just..." She looked toward the kitchen and he suddenly understood. Fitz felt a twist in his gut and nodded his head.

"You sit down and I'll try to make a sandwich. You have your pills."

Olivia took a seat and gave a small smile. "You're going to make a sandwich?"

He gave a small grin back. "You're still holding that against me."

"I just don't understand how you could mess up a tuna sandwich."

Fitz chuckled at the memory of trying to make tuna sandwiches for his staff for appreciation of their hard work and the look on Olivia's face when she had bit into one to test it out. It was almost as if she had bitten into a lemon. She had told him that she could order some sandwiches from the local deli and that he should keep his day job.

"I've gotten much better with the sandwich skills, m'lady." Fitz said as he kissed her forehead. "Now where are those painkillers that I know your doctor prescribed you that you haven't been taking because you want to be Ms. Badass."

Olivia gave him a big smile and Fitz felt as if his heart would burst.

* * *

"Babe, what CD do you want?"

Fitz was being adorable and Olivia wondered if this is what it would be like if she actually was with him. If she dated him and had a life together. She was standing in the doorway of her bathroom after indulging Fitz in his sandwich making skills and downing her pills. Fitz was messing with her CD player on her white accent table by the bath. He had already lit her candles which brought and calming glow to the room and her bath was filling up nicely with water and bubbles.

"Try the Kem CD."

"Kem? Okay." He went through the CD on the bottom part of the table and she took a moment to admire his body. It had been a long time since she saw that body naked but it looked like it hadn't changed much. Maybe…

_Mind out of the gutter, girl._ She thought to herself out of habit. Thinking about him that way only made things worse.

_But you promised one night. Enjoy it._

The music softly played and Fitz stood up to his full height a boyish smile coming on his face.

"I hope this is to your liking."

She walked closer to him and gave him a soft kiss on the lips. "It's just what I needed."

"Good." He whispered. "And nice robe by the way."

She caught his eyes soften when he looked at her neck in the glow of the candles around the bathroom. When she had looked in the mirror in the morning she wasn't prepared to see the prints from her attack on her skin where the intruder had tried to choke her. So if it had been a shock to her she knew it was playing on Fitz's mind as well.

"I'm okay. They'll go away."

Fitz brought his fingertips up to caress her neck as if he could remove the bruising by just his touch. He then leaned down and kissed each spot softly, wanting to heal and soothe her hurts. Olivia closed her eyes and came closer to him as she wrapped her arms around him.

"I'll kill him." Was the soft whisper from Fitz and she suddenly felt scared at how heartfelt the sentiment had been from his lips.

"It's not worth it."

Fitz met her eyes. "You are worth everything."

Olivia felt her throat constrict and had to get control of the emotions that were overwhelming her. He slid out of her arms and started to walk towards the bathroom door.

"I'll leave you to your bath."

"Fitz…"

He paused, unsure, his back still to her.

"…stay."

* * *

She was divine. Every inch of her. He moved the white washcloth over her right arm and she hummed with delight. Fitz had tried to keep his libido in check but it was harder and harder to do with her humming like that and the softness of her body just beckoning to him like a siren. He felt his dick harden to an impossible degree but tried to keep it down.

_She doesn't need me to paw her like an animal. _ Fitz thought to himself once again wiping down her upper chest. He was to the side of the tub, his shirt and pants removed and only his boxer providing a small sense of decorum to the proceedings. Olivia laid back in the tub, her eyes closed and her mind on the music as he slowly bathed her, trusting him completely.

_"I think about the day I met the perfect stranger, I think about us.  
And I think about the day I got wrapped around your fingers, I think about us."_

Her breasts were peeking above the bubbles and Fitz was thinking about how they once felt in his hands. He couldn't help but wonder what would happen if the cloth moved lower and touched them. Would she respond?

_"Never thought I'd ever love anyone else in my weakness, I think about us.  
And I think about the day you left without speaking, I think about us."_

He had missed her so much. Missed her voice. Her laugh. Her presence in his life. And it was taking everything in his power to not get on the phone to call the press pool and tell them he was resigning effective immediately.

_"Somebody tell me why I feel like I'm dying.  
Lord what's come over me  
Ohh baby can't you see  
That I can't stop loving you"_

"Fitz?"

"Huh?"

"You stopped." Olivia said her eyes opening. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah. I...I…"

"It's okay." She leaned to where he was and gave him a gentle kiss. "I like this."

A smirk came to his face. "I like it too."

"I don't doubt that." Olivia traced the his arm that was still in the tub with her fingers and when she got to his hand on her chest she moved it lower.

"Livvie."

"It's okay."

She didn't know the dangerous game she was playing.

"I don't…" He felt his hand let go of the cloth as his hand was being lowered to her belly.

"You said you wanted to take care of me." Her eyes had a devious glint to them.

"Sweet baby…" He moaned struggling for the reasons why he shouldn't plunge his hand inside of her right at this instance. "I don't want to hurt you."

He closed his eyes as her hand led him to the promise land and he felt a kiss on his temple.

"I trust you. I love you, Fitz."

Water splashed onto the floor as he moved closer to the tub and gather her into his arms with one arm while his fingers went to work.

"Shit…" he groaned in her ear as her felt the inside of her. "I forgot…I missed this so much."

"Fitz!" She scraped his back with her nails as her breast pressed against his chest. His fingers plunged in deeper as more water came down the side of the tub and onto the floor. He boxers were getting wet as well but he didn't care. He didn't care about anything but the feel of her.

"I missed you. Fitz! Jesus!"

"You feel so good." Fitz said as he used his thumb to play with her clit as two other of his finger rapidly moved in and out of her. He kissed her neck and then looked at her. "How long?"

Olivia looked confused for a minute so he clarified. "How long as it been?"

She suddenly understood and gave a long moan. He gazed at her, wanting to know, needing to know.

"It's only been you. I haven't…"

"Jesus Liv!" Fitz fingers went faster and Olivia moaned more, the water of the tub moving in waves. "You knew it belonged to me didn't you?"

"Yes."

"That this beautiful pussy was mine."

"Yes, god Fitz! Only yours."

He could feel the possessiveness gather in him and a sense of humbleness as well. She was his and she had been waiting. She had never let another man touch her. And he had fucked up. He had screwed up so severely and he had hurt her in so many ways.

"I'm not worthy of you." Fitz confessed as he felt herself tightening with his touch. "You are so good baby and I messed up. I messed everything up. I'm sorry. I love you so much."

"Fitz!"

"So good baby. My baby. My sweet baby."

He felt her tense up and her nails dug into his back. She let out a harsh breath and then a long moan that felt like music to him.

"I love you, Livvie. I love you."

**A/N: Song and lyrics from Kem's "I Can't Stop Loving You". Check it out it's a good song. lol **


	14. La Petite Mort

Olivia Pope was unsure of when she was lifted out of the tub, carefully maneuvered over the wet floor, and then rushed into the bedroom like a bride on the wedding night, but looking at the sight before her she didn't really care. On the campaign trail, before they had begun their affair, she had always pictured what he looked like with no clothes on. The mystery would drive her crazy in her hotel room at night when the air conditioner was on too high but she felt as if she were in a hot desert from wanting him so much. The first time he had taken his shirt off she had been impressed by his physique and how well he took care of himself. He wasn't too bulky but he had the cut of a man half his age, his abs alone worth the price of admission. And now it seemed as if his body had gotten better with age.

He stood on the edge of her bed with the eyes of a predator, his wet boxers clinging to him like a second skin and very evident of his arousal. Olivia had to admit that Fitz wasn't the biggest man she had ever seen but it was impressive and the things his cock could do to her sometimes made her feel it was perfect. Fitz knew how to work it and how to angle it just right. Just for her.

"Livvie."

"Fitz. Come on." Olivia felt suddenly vulnerable as he wasn't moving towards her and just looking at her with as if he wanted to devour her, but he wasn't. His wet body was tense and she could see the muscles in his arms flex with wanting to hold her but he didn't move towards her. The room was beginning to get chilly and her nipples were hardening both by his presence and the cold air. She wanted her man. She needed her Fitz.

"Livvie...I don't want to hurt you. You are still recovering and I feel like a bastard for already doing what I have."

"I'm okay, Fitz." She moved to her knees and crawled to the edge of the bed, her hands reaching for his chest and moving through the hairs that lay there. She could hear a slight groan emanating from the back of this throat and she saw the fight in his eyes. "The pain killers are working great right now."

"I don't know if that makes this worse or better." Fitz sighed but she still saw the hunger in his eyes. "I just don't want to hurt you. I've hurt you enough. Both physically and emotionally."

"Don't think about that." She raised herself to her knees and leaned her upper body to his. She felt his strong arms wrap around her waist and pull her closer, his erection poking into her stomach. "You said that this was just going to be one night."

"Is that why you're doing this?" Fitz hands came to her hair and teased her scalp. "Because you think this is going to be a one-time thing? For old times sake?"

He tilted her head back slightly so she could meet his eyes to see the possession there. To see the passion he had for her and the love.

"Olivia, understand that my hesitation is about knowing that if I have you tonight I'm not letting you go. Once I'm inside of you that's it, sweet baby. There is no turning back. I'll belong to you forever and I'll do anything in my power to make sure the same is true for you. If you don't want to open this door then you need to tell me to go on the couch while you rest in here. I'll understand. But if you tell me to get in this bed and make love to you then be prepared for what will happen in the morning. Do you understand?"

"Fitz..."

He nipped at her bottom lip and then kissed her solidly. "Do you understand? Do you get it? I love you and I'm not letting you go."

She backed away from him and could see his utter disappointment at her seeming rejection of him. It was when she took his hand that she could see the excitement in his eyes.

"Make love to me."

He came down to the bed, his boxers on the floor and met her softness with his hardness.

"Livvie, tell me what position will be most comfortable." He whispered on top of her.

* * *

Billy Chambers had everything planned even if he didn't have Amanda to back up his story. Since his firing he had lined up a number of interviews to expose the truth about President Grant and as he turned the key to his apartment he was thinking about how things were looking up for him. What he didn't expect was to see two well-dressed men with suits to be waiting in his living room at 1 o'clock in the morning

"What are you doing here? Who are you?"

"There isn't any real need for introduction." Stephen said as he stood up from the sofa. "Just know that you have made some really bad enemies and we want to make something go away."

"You have no right to be here. I'm calling the police."

"Hold up, you might want to consider not doing that." Harrison produced a CD out of his jacket pocket. Billy smiled.

"You think that I can be intimidated with a tape of the president screwing his mistress? I want that released."

"Who said it was the president?" Stephen said.

"You have a bit of a habit of taping your sexscapades, buddy." Harrison said flapping the disk in his hand. "Nasty habit there, especially if the girls aren't quite eighteen."

"You assholes."

"No, if we were assholes we'd beat the shit out of you and call it a day. If you met one of our other associates that might be what the hell happened. But it's your lucky day. Turn over the rest of the tapes and your sorry ass won't be doing time in Jessup."

* * *

Fitz lay behind her and her leg was splayed over top of his as he moved with a careful precision. She had missed the feeling of being full of him, of his strong arms holding her tightly as he kissed her neck. She held onto his arms as he increased his speed and moaned with delight as his teeth scraped the top of her shoulders. One of his hands moved to her breasts and teased her nipples as he pumped, his sweat mixing with hers.

"Missed this. God, I missed this. I missed you." Olivia whispered, her confession making his strokes faster. His other hand lowered and fingered her clit and she tensed in his arms.

"Never again." He whispered in her ear. "Never again will I be without you."

* * *

"So do you think it was him?"

They sat in the hotel room, Chinese food on the table, across from one another. Huck took a bite of his lo mein and considered Amanda for a moment.

"It's likely."

"So you think Billy was trying to kill me?"

"If you were backing out like you said you wanted to? Yes, I think he is capable of having you killed."

Amanda Tanner's tears came unbidden and Huck was uncertain about what to do or how to proceed. Crying women were not usually his thing. Give him a crying man and he could do something with it but crying women? He had no idea. So he let her cry, his silence support, his presence a comfort. And when Amanda finished crying he knew the shift from upset to rage.

"He'll pay." She said through her tears. "He'll pay."

* * *

Fitz wanted to see her face. He wanted to see her face fully when she came. He pulled out of her and twisted her body to where their fronts mashed together and then he was inside her again. Olivia looked ravished, her hair making her looked well fucked, and that only made him harder. He would do anything for her. Climb any mountain. Fight any battle.

"I'm yours and your mine's." Fitz breathed out harshly as he found himself on the cusp of an orgasm. "Mine."

"Fuck! Fitz!"

"You left but not again. Do. You. Hear. Me?" He grunted, punctuating every word with a stroke. "Mine."

"I love you. I'm yours and you're mine."

He met her with a bruising kiss and could feel her fingertips grip his hair. She was close.

"I love you, Livvie. Nobody else. I love you."

"I love you!" She cried as she came and he exploded with a force he didn't know was possible.

He was not going to leave her. Never again.

* * *

"I don't have every tape."

"What?" Stephen said as he searched Billy Chambers library.

"I said I don't have everything. I…"

"Spill it." Harrison warned.

"Cyrus Beene has one of them."

* * *

Cyrus Beene contemplated the email before him. He had never been a man of hesitation of deliberation. He was a man of action. Action was his mode of thinking and when that was done and his enemy defeated he might think on the consequences.

He had planned to send it but for the past two hours he was unsure. All he had to do was press send from a dummy email address and it would be over. Fitzgerald Grant's presidency would be done for and he would have his revenge.

But for the first time in his life he was hesitating. He was thinking about his president. His boy. Fitz could be a fuck up but he was Cyrus' fuck up and Cyrus felt a strange twinge of conscious about hurting him. About hurting them.

His left arm hurt like a son of a bitch and James had warned him earlier about taking it easy. He stood up and then walked around his personal library to calm his mind and his guilty conscious. If he sent this to the reporters that would be it. Fitz would be ruined and all of his hard work would be for nothing. His sacrifices for nothing. And Fitz would be done for. And Olivia would do her best to save him but it would be too much and in his heart he knew she would destroy herself to protect Fitz from being destroyed. So he would be hurting both of them and it was beginning to be too much for hm.

"Cyrus."

His heart started to seize and he couldn't breathe. He couldn't concentrate.

"Cyrus. Baby! Are you okay? Baby!"

He could feel James arms around him as he fell to his knees but his heart was seizing and he couldn't breathe. Cyrus rolled to the floor and knew that James was yelling at him but he didn't know what his husband was saying. He was on his back and could see James dialing 911 on his cellphone but he didn't hear what he was saying and his heart felt tight in his chest. His heart hurt.

He thought of James. Of how happy James made him and how he made James happy. And he thought of Fitz taking the oath of office. And he thought of Olivia. His Olivia smiling. His Olivia fixing. His Olivia being what he created.

Then he thought no more.


	15. As We Lay

Olivia woke up with Fitz not beside her and the sound of her dryer running. It was still dark in the room and Olivia turned to her bedside clock to see that it was 3:00 in the morning. She looked towards her door to see Fitz make his way into the room, naked as the day he was born and carrying a glass of water for her. Olivia gave a small smile.

_That's a good sight to wake up to. _

"Got you some water. Thought you might need it. In any pain?"

"No."

"Good." He put the water by her nightstand and then went around the bed to crawl in next to her. She turned her body to face him and both wrapped their bodies around each other. She started to play with the hair on his chest and he kissed her forehead gently. They were quiet for a minute, letting the peace settle over them. They both knew that outside the troubles of the world were waiting for them. But in this moment they were themselves. They were together and happy. Then Fitz broke the bubble.

"I'm leaving my wife."

Olivia gazed up at him in surprise. He looked down at her with a glare of determination, as if he was waiting for her to argue it. She didn't let him down.

"No."

"I told you before we made love that things would change afterwards. I meant every word. Every syllable. I don't want to be married anymore."

"I want you to think about this, Fitz. Really think about this."

"I have. I've thought about this for two years straight. I've thought about it even before I even met you. My marriage has been dead for a long time. Hell, I'm not even sure it ever lived."

"No president has ever divorced his wife while in the White House or even after."

Fitz gave a hard look. "There is a first time for everything."

"I don't want you to do that. I don't want you to endanger your presidency for me."

"Did you ever think it might not be about you?"

Olivia looked taken aback. "Fitz…"

"You are a big part of it. I'm not going to deny that. But I need a new start. I need a fresh start. I'm tired of playing by other people rules. By their dictates. For the first time I want to be me. I still want to be president but I want it to be my way. By my rules."

Olivia snuggled tighter in his arms. "I just don't agree with it."

"You don't have to. I'm not going to stay with her and I'm going to still love you. That is not going to change whether you agree or not." Fitz kissed her cheek. "And I know that you love me. Now you can either love me from far away…"

His kisses went to her neck and she gave a soft moan. She could feel his smile on her skin.

"…or you can love me up close but I'm leaving my wife. I think you'd prefer up close."

"You play dirty, Fitzgerald Grant." Olivia whispered.

"Only way to play." Fitz said as he lowered both of his hands to her ass.

She pulled back, stopping his progress and he gave a small pout. "Liv?"

"We need to talk about Cyrus."

Fitz head went back in frustration and he let go of Olivia and laid back on her white pillow. Olivia sat up and looked down at him.

"I don't think you should have fired him."

"Why?"

"It shows too much turmoil in your White House. The public and the press are going to perceive that something big is going on, especially since Billy resigned recently as well."

"Billy is lucky he's still alive." Fitz said with fire in his eyes.

"Fitz…"

"After all he did to you? Sending a man to hurt and possibly kill you? I should have killed him. I could get away with it."

"Fitz, all you are talking about now is the fastest way to get impeached."

"Be worth it."

Olivia touched his face. "Not to me."

"And Cyrus isn't coming back. It's not going to happen. Especially after he threatened you tonight."

"Cyrus is Cyrus. I can deal with him."

"You shouldn't have to deal with him. He knows you're one of us."

"I'm not defending, Cyrus. God knows I'm not. But he is someone who can hurt you as much as help you, Fitz. And he honestly cares about you in his messed up, Cyrus way."

"Where is this coming from?" Fitz said leaning up himself. "Why are you taking his side?"

Olivia sighed and laid back in the bed herself. She knew Cyrus. Sometimes better than even Cyrus knew Cyrus. And she knew that he would do anything in his power to get revenge. Despite what he had done she still felt a strange loyalty to him that belied her words at the office. And she knew, more than anything, that while Fitz was mad at Cyrus he still loved him. And she couldn't tell him the full truth Cyrus had been behind the attack at her apartment. Because she knew that even though Fitz loved Cyrus he would find a way to destroy him for touching her and possibly destroy himself in the process. And that was something she couldn't abide by. She couldn't see Fitz hurt in such a way.

"I'm taking your side, babe."

"You don't sound like it."

Olivia turned her head to him and then finally figured out what was going on. "You're jealous."

"What?"

"You think I'm picking Cyrus over you and you are jealous."

"Silly." Fitz dismissed but his grey eyes told a different story.

She leaned up and kissed his cheek. "You know I'm on your side. I'm on your side, Fitz."

He leaned in to kiss her mouth and then whispered, "I know. And you are going to make an excellent First Lady."

"I don't want to be a First Lady." Olivia said honestly and Fitz gave a little peck on the lips.

"First Girlfriend? All the perks, none of the hassle." She laughed at that.

The knock and Olivia's cell phone ringing happened at the same time and both jumped out of the bed. Fitz began to collect his clothes knowing that the Secret Service weren't knocking for no reason and his pants and shirt were on in no time. Olivia answered her phone and composed herself.

"Pope."

"We have a problem."

"Stephen, what is it?"

"We paid Billy a visit like you said and he told us that Cyrus had the remaining recording."

"Son of a bitch. Did you get to Cyrus?" Olivia said as she watched Fitz leave her bedroom.

"That's the thing. Liv…Cyrus had a massive heart attack."

Olivia felt her world darken and her chest go numb. "No."

"He's still alive from what we've heard but it doesn't look good, Liv."

She stayed silent on the phone for minute, her mind going a thousand miles a minute. She saw Fitz reenter the room with the same look on his face.

"Liv? Liv? Are you there?"


	16. Waiting Room

By the time she reached Georgetown University Hospital the press had gotten wind of the story and were camped out outside and awaiting any news that was coming from the hospital spoke person on the condition of the White House Chief of Staff. She found Harrison and Stephen outside waiting like everyone else was.

"What's the news?"

Harrison just shook his head and Stephen tried to touch her but Olivia stepped back as if she were shocked. She didn't want comfort, she wanted answers.

"Did you get the tape?"

"Yes. And we erased everything incriminating for you or the president in Billy's apartment and Cyrus' after the ambulance left."

Olivia nodded her head. "I'm going up. James is probably a wreck."

* * *

"Olivia. I'm so glad you're here!" James pulled her into a tight hug and then looked at her face.

"Are you okay? Do you need anything, James?"

"I'll be okay."

Olivia looked around the waiting room and saw no one. Not one person except for James. James shook his head, knowing what she was looking at and thinking.

"Nobody came?"

"You know Cyrus. He didn't make an enemy he didn't like. I'm just glad you came."

"What about your family? They would support you in a time…"

"Not for this." James answered adjusting his glasses. Olivia immediately knew what he meant and came closer for another hug. No one should be alone at a time like this. No one should be alone when someone they loved was injured.

James accepted it and began to cry and Olivia just held on.

* * *

Fitz quickly hit the shower as soon as he was back in Residency. It had been close timing but they had beaten the press corps in making it back to the White House without detection. He now needed to dress and go to the hospital to make sure Cyrus was okay and that it wasn't as bad as it seemed. That the guilt he was feeling was for nothing. As he walked into the bedroom he could see the light on and Millie sitting at her desk, waiting for him.

"Mel…what are you doing up?"

"That is a question I might ask you." She said. "You went to see her didn't you?"

"Yes." Fitz confessed simply.

"Of all the dumb, stupid, and…"

"I want a divorce."

Mellie looked as if she had been physically slapped. "What did you say?"

"I want a divorce, Mel. It's time. It's time for both of us."

Mel stood up to her full height, walked over to him, and slapped him. Fitz didn't even stop her when the slaps continued and the weight of her fury was on him. He knew it wasn't out of anger or even jealousy that she was hitting him, but out of fear. She was afraid. He finally grabbed her hands and pulled her closer to him.

"Mel, don't do this. Don't do this to yourself."

"You have no right! No right! How do you think that will look? Mellie Grant, First Ex-Wife. You have always wanted to humiliate me but I never thought you had the balls to try and get rid of me."

"Mellie…"

"This is ridiculous. You aren't divorcing me. You are playing another game with Olivia. Did she put you up to this? Did she say she wouldn't let you fuck her if you…"

"Mellie not another goddamn word." Fitz warned and she saw the seriousness in his face.

"I should have known. You got rid of Cyrus and now the poor man is dying in a hospital room and now you want to get rid of me. What do you think your children will think? That their daddy, the most powerful man in the world, is getting rid of their mother in the most public way possible? That their mother is going to get kicked out of the White House for a fancy new fling? Are you going to kick them out too Fitz when they don't agree with your little plan of happiness? When they don't fit into your new life with your new girlfriend?"

"I would never do that! And I would never treat you so cruelly. I do care about you, Mellie."

"Then think about what will happen to your children! How will Karen find a way if her father is disgraced and her mother abandoned? Did you ever think…" Tears started coming down Mellie's eyes as she continued, "…what her life would be like?"

"Is that what this is about Mellie? You're afraid Karen will be like you?"

Fitz saw Mellie's head tip down and knew the truth in his words. She was even more afraid than he thought.

"Mellie, Karen will be okay. She is such a smart and intelligent girl. She's going to be smarter than both of us put together and she's not going to have to do what we did to get here. Do you understand? She's not going to be anyone but herself."

"Desperation makes people do things they shouldn't, Fitz." Mellie confessed and looked into his eyes. "It makes people turn into monsters. I don't…I don't want that for her or for Jerry."

"I don't either. But this isn't good for them either, Mel. Yes, we're powerful but do you feel happy with that? Are you satisfied with just that and nothing else? Do you think our kids don't know that we don't love each other and it is making them just as desperate? Because this is destroying us. It has been destroying us for a long time. I hurt a young girl and the woman I loved because I was desperate, Mel. I've hurt you because I was trying to live somebody else dream and you didn't deserve it. None of you deserved it and I'm apologizing right now for it."

Mellie shook her head and Fitz let go of her forearms, sure that she had calmed down. He was shocked when she pulled him in for a kiss and then let him go, examining his reaction.

"You never loved me? Did you?"

Fitz pulled her into a hug. "I tried. Just know I tried."

She let go and collected herself and he did the same. They glanced at each other and Fitz was still unsure of what her reaction was going to be when he actually filed. If she would remain this calm and not seek to hurt him or Olivia in court. But right now she seemed at peace with what he was saying. And that was enough.

"We'll plan a trip. Just us and the kids. We'll go back to the ranch and we'll tell them."

Fitz nodded his head. "I'm going to see Cyrus. Come with me."

Mellie nodded her head and began to get ready.


	17. Walk Like a Man

"_Cyrus, didn't I tell you? That's my boy!"_

_Fitz felt uncomfortable as his father ran down his speech while he just stood there in his blue suit, holding an equally uncomfortable Mellie by her hip. He had a good speech and now all he really wanted to do was go home and make sure that his pregnant wife was getting the rest she needed. His father had been pushing and pushing for him to run for the congressional seat that was being vacated by his father's good friend but he was unsure and unable to make that commitment with a baby on the way. And while he liked Cyrus and knew he was a close friend of the family's, the last thing he wanted was the man on his team if he did run for congress. He didn't need another of his father's sycophants running everything by his father before they ran it by him._

"_It was a great speech, Gerald." Cyrus gruffed out as if he didn't want to be here either. Gerald smacked Cyrus on the back and gave Fitz that determined look that he knew well._

"_So?"_

"_So what, pop?"_

"_What do you think of Cyrus running your campaign? This son of a bitch is the best in the business and he would run circles around any punk Democrat who crossed you."_

"_I don't even know if I'm running."_

"_Of course you are!" Gerald demanded with a hint of humor but everyone in the hotel room knew he was as serious as cancer. "You have to grow, son. You served your country and was one of the best damn pilots I've ever seen. Time for you to continue the tradition."_

_Continue the tradition. Politics. The family business. Fitz was sure he had heard those words for most of his life. His grandfather had been a congressman and a Senator. His father had been a very popular governor of California. Now it was up to him to be greater. To start his eventually path to the presidency and he was unsure if he wanted to pick up that particular torch._

"_Lay off, Gerald. You see his wife is pregnant and it's late. Can we get to the legacy stuff later?"_

_It wasn't many people that could tell Fitzgerald Thomas Grant Jr. what to do and if it had come from any other man it wouldn't have went well. But Cyrus and Gerald were alike and Gerald merely laughed it off and gave another pat on Cyrus' back._

"_Remember I let you cut your teeth, Cy. Now look at you."_

"_Yeah, yeah, yeah." Cyrus answered back with a small grin. He looked at Fitz. "Can I speak to you alone, kid?"_

_Fitz nodded and Gerald escorted Mellie out of the small office that was off the conference room in the Hilton Hotel. Now he was alone with the man who had made many men in politics. He was no longer Uncle Cy or Cy the man. He was Cyrus Beene, the best fixer and campaign manager in the business._

"_What do you want?" Cyrus asked bluntly._

"_What?"_

"_You heard me, kid. Do you want to run for congress?"_

"_I want to help people." Fitz said honestly._

"_You fuck around on your wife?"_

"_What?" Fitz was taken aback._

"_It's a political reality, kid. Many men fuck around on their wives and I can deal with that but you got to be honest so I know what to prepare for. Do you fuck around on your wife?"_

"_No. No, Cy. I haven't." Fitz said truthfully and Cyrus nodded his head as if he were calculating something._

"_Anything I need to know about?"_

"_No."_

"_Drugs? Anything illegal?"_

"_No! Maybe some weed in college but nothing big."_

"_I can work with that."_

"_I haven't even made the decision if I'm running."_

"_You're telling me this stuff so you must have some interest. I wasn't born yesterday. You're more like your father than you think you are."_

_Fitz was struck silent and Cyrus started to rub his chin and pacing around the room._

"_The most important thing here kid is you don't keep any secrets from me. You take a toke and you tell me. You want to dye your hair orange, you tell me. You fuck around on your wife, you tell me. Nothing is a secret from your right hand, you understand."_

_Fitz nodded his head and then stood up straight. "I have conditions too."_

_Cyrus considered him for a moment, not expecting Fitz to ask for his own conditions. "Shoot."_

"_If I do choose to run, it's my campaign and not my father's. I make the rules. I set the conditions. My father has no part of it and you don't tell him anything of what I am planning or doing. I'm not going to make it on my father's name or his advice. If you are with me, then you are with me. If you are with my father then this conversation is over."_

_Cyrus' expression was unreadable and then a smile crawled onto his face. "You got a deal, kid."_

"_You're on my side?"_

"_I'm on your side for as long as you need me."_

"_And no more calling me kid."_

_Cyrus laughed and nodded his head as if he were his proud father. "You got it, Mr. Grant."_

"_Good." _

_They shook on it and for the first time Fitz felt as if he was his own man._

* * *

"Fitz."

Fitz didn't look up but he knew that she would eventually come to him. His hands were covering his eyes and guilt laid heavy in his chest. All he could think about was that his mentor, his friend, might not live through the day.

The doctor had told them that Cyrus' surgery had been touch and go and that his heart had been damaged a great deal. She had not been sure if he would survive the day and the next twenty-four hours would be critical. Even if he did survive he would never be the same man. The same grouchy but determined Cyrus that he knew and loved and for a man like Cyrus that would be a fate worse than death. He had done this to him. He had cut Cyrus off from his life blood by firing him and now he was possibly dying because of him. He was the most powerful man in the world. Arms were at his command. Soldiers saluted him. People around the world respected him. But he couldn't make his friend better. He couldn't let his friend know that he was sorry. He couldn't tell his friend that he loved him. He was powerless and like a little boy he walked away from the doctor, from James, from Mellie, and from Olivia. He ran into the shelter of the hospital chapel so he could be lost. But it was Olivia who found him. She always found him.

He felt her hand on his shoulder and he could feel her presence sit next to him. Fitz removed his hands from his face, his eyes full of tears.

"Don't blame yourself. Baby, don't put it on your shoulders." Olivia said as she kissed his temple and held the hand that was next to hers. Fitz gazed at the cross on the alter inside the small hospital chapel and squeezed her hand for all it was worth. They were alone and he was afraid. Afraid to be seen. Afraid to be known. Afraid to be exposed as the nothing he felt he was. Afraid that he was his father's son and could never be his own man. Never be a man. Afraid to lose the one man in his life that had stood by him more than even his father had. Before he had been his right hand he had been his uncle, his sounding board, and his protector from his father brand of ambition. How could he have cut him off so harshly has if he had meant nothing to him? The look on Cyrus' face in the Oval Office as he fired him stuck in his head. His anger. His envy. But most of all his disappointment. Cyrus had been disappointed because Fitz had broken his promise. That Fitz had broken him.

"I failed him, Livvie. I broke his heart." Tears came down his cheeks and she enveloped him in her arms, kissing his head and rocking him slowly.

"You didn't fail him, Fitz. He loves you. He loves you more than you can ever know."

And there, the most powerful man in the world, broke apart in the arms of the woman who loved him most in the world.


	18. The Agreement

**A/N: Just a small chapter before big things start happening. Just fair warning. lol**

Being with the man named Huck for the past couple of days had been both a fascinating and strangely normalizing experience for Amanda Tanner. She had become so used to high powered manipulations and walking down White House Halls that she was humbled to be returned to motel suites. Huck definitely brought her down to earth, his gruff and no nonsense manner made her know that he was both being honest with her and wasn't fazed by the situation she found herself in. Huck mostly stayed quiet, his intense eyes on his laptop as he sat at the small dining table at their new motel in South Carolina. She had wondered aloud exactly what he was looking at but he merely glared at her in silence until her inquiries stopped. He took her out when she wanted to go shopping for toiletries or just to chase away the boredom of staying the motel rooms they had frequently. They were Mr. and Mrs. Harris wherever they went and Amanda figured it would be the first and only time that she would ever take a married title. The only time she had ever even thought about a possible marriage was with Billy but…

Amanda unconsciously put her hands on her stomach to protect the unborn baby that laid there. She was going to be a mother and she felt conflicted about it. Would she be a good one? One who supported her child's dreams. She imagined that it would be a girl and a small smile came to her face as she sat on the bed.

"Things okay?"

She snapped out of her daydreams and saw he was sitting beside her. She felt very comfortable with him, despite their rocky being. Huck was sweet when he wanted to be even though he wasn't very talkative. And she could feel that he was warming up to her as much as he could warm up to anyone and he now actually entered her personal space from time to time.

"I'm okay. Just thinking about my future. About what I'm going to do when I get out of this situation."

"It might be a good thing if you moved out of the country." Huck said, his eyes examining her. Amanda hid her shock and then nodded her head.

"That might be a good idea. A new start."

"I've found there aren't new starts. Things tend to follow you. But you can have a better life."

Amanda laughed at his honesty instead of being offended. Huck gazed at her, his eyes showing a bit of confusion, and then lightened slightly when he realized what she was laughing at.

"Olivia said I need to work on my tact. I tend to blurt out things…"

He froze as her lips touched his. Amanda wasn't sure what drove her to kiss him. Whether it was curiosity or genuine interest she wasn't sure. But in the moment of his nervousness about having spoken so bluntly she recognized something in him that she liked and wanted to kiss him. Wanted to show him affection in the only way she had known how since she was a scrawny girl in high school with the crazy mom. This kiss was different from others she had given and received. It was innocent and strangely intoxicating, his lips giving and soft.

He surprised her by moving his lips with hers for a few seconds, his eyes closing, before moving himself away and standing up nervously. Amanda wondered when the last time he had kissed a woman or even slept with a woman.

"Florence is a good place." Huck said as he looked at the ground to avoid looking at her. He then walked to the motel door and quietly made his way out the room, the ghost of his lips imprinted on hers.

* * *

"Livvie you need to take care of yourself too."

Fitz had to leave. The job of being president didn't stop even when your friend was dying in a hospital room. His duties called him away and despite how she felt about it she knew, in her heart, it was what he was meant to do. What he was born to do.

"I'm fine, Fitz. Someone took good care of me, remember?"

A hint of a smile came to his face and she could see from the hunger in his eyes and the posture of his body that he wanted to hold her. But an ICU hallway was not a place where those desires could be met. Especially with his wife seated only a few feet away.

"Yes. And someone took care of me too. Especially when I needed her the most. Thank you."

She nodded her head as he turned to go into Cyrus' room. She could see through the viewing window James still holding Cyrus' hand while Fitz approached them. Olivia then felt the presence of someone beside her and knew it was Mellie.

"He told me he wants a divorce."

It was a whisper but Olivia could hear the desperation in Mellie's voice but didn't answer it. She watched as Fitz mouth moved as he held Cyrus' other hand.

"So you've won. I'm not going to fight this though I'm sure he expects it."

Olivia watched as Fitz leaned down to Cyrus' ear.

"But if you hurt him. If you hurt my family or his career I will come after you with the heat of a thousand suns. I will destroy you, Olivia Pope. With everything I have I will make your life a living hell and make you wish you were never born."

Fitz kissed Cyrus' forehead.

"I may not have been the best wife but I'm a damn good mother. And my daughter will not want for anything. She will never have doors slammed in her face or told she can't do anything in this world. I won't allow you or Fitz to destroy his legacy or humiliate her or Jerry. They will be the children of the greatest president in the history of this country. That is one thing I won't stop fighting for."

Fitz wiped a tear from his eye and Olivia stayed silent for a moment as she watched him.

"Noted. But just so we have an understanding…"

She turned to look hard at the woman and for the first time Mellie looked as if she was intimidated.

"Understand that I will do anything to protect Fitz. You scheme, you manipulate, you make a false move against him or try to hurt him and, First Lady or not, I will have your fucking head."

Mellie put her chin up at this and nodded her head. They shook on it before Fitz came out of the room.

"Mel, are you ready?"

"I'm ready, Fitz." She held her gaze to Olivia's and then went to Fitz to go to a home that soon would no longer be hers.


	19. In the Prison of His Days

"_I want you to do me a favor."_

_Olivia looked at her mentor over their breakfast as saw that he was nervous, something he wasn't often. Whatever he wanted had to be important as he didn't say it over the phone and flew all the way to New York to meet her over it. The waiter brought over a drink of water and she gave him silent thanks for it. _

_Olivia had seen Cyrus on television several times as a surrogate for Governor Fitzgerald Grant's run for president, which at this point, was going sideways. The governor was unable to connect with his conservative base, unable to connect to conservative men, and conservative women. Hell, conservative anything. Moderate Republicans loved him as did Independents but those were not the voters who mattered in primaries. Die hard party faithful were the ones who mattered in primaries and the governor was failing in huge ways in making an impression._

"_What is it, Cy? You aren't buying me breakfast at the Waldorf Astoria for no reason so it has to be big. Something that puts me at a disadvantage."_

"_It could." Cyrus admitted. "Or it is an opportunity to make a name for yourself beyond being a worker bee for a consulting company that doesn't know what it has."_

_Olivia had to admit he had a point. She had been more and more disappointed with her job as time went by and worse than that, she was bored. Not to mention the fact that she was getting passed over for big projects for the newest boy wonders on the block while she was reduced to getting their coffee on some days. Then these same wonder boys with thick heads of hair would ask her to the yeoman's work in getting the right PR for their clients. You had to love corporate America._

"_I'm listening."_

"_We need you on the campaign."_

_Olivia took a sip of water to cover her surprise. Cyrus was an old work horse when it came to campaigns. He practically invented the modern campaign in some ways. So what did he need her for?_

"_We're struggling, kiddo. Polling is disastrous. Used to be if you were white and male with pretty boy features and a decent amount of charm you could get somewhere in a Republican Primary. If this were ten years ago we would be wiping the floor with Sally Langston but the Governor is struggling. I think you could make the difference."_

"_That's a big commitment, Cy." Cyrus took a forkful of eggs and stuffed it in his mouth. _

"_Lots of things are big commitments, Liv. Marriage, kids, presidential campaigns…"_

_She gave a grin at that. "You know what I mean."_

"_I'll tell you this. He's the real deal, kiddo. He's smart. A military hero. He's charming as hell. And he's optimistic, a little bit more than I'd like."_

"_But…" There was always a but with Cyrus._

"_He's green and I think he knows it, though he won't say it to me. I told him that before he decided to run but he was being stubborn and headstrong about it. That it was the right time. That the country needed him."_

"_And how am I supposed to work for someone like that?"_

"_Mold him. You are one of the best fixers I've ever seen. The thing with Gonoli was brilliant. He wasn't ready to take the reins of that corporation but you made him ready and now look at him. He looked real good on the cover of Fortune 500. You can do the same for Governor Grant."_

"_Who says I want to do that."_

"_Because you love a challenge and you love a lost cause."_

"_Fitzgerald Grant is a lost cause?"_

"_We're going to lose Iowa. We're probably going to lose New Hampshire too." Olivia noted Cyrus eyes get soft and sad at the thought. "He is a born leader. He deserves to win."_

"_Deserves has nothing to do with it and you know that, Cyrus. Looks like your boss isn't the only one with too much optimism."_

_He gave her a sly smile. "Stop busting my chops."_

"_It's just good to see that you believe in something, Cyrus."_

"_I do. I believe in him."_

_Olivia was taken aback by this admission from her former mentor. Cyrus was the most cynical man she had ever met. He would be the perfect Scrooge. But for his eyes to light up the way they were now was a big deal. Maybe there was something about Fitzgerald Grant that she should look into._

_Olivia popped a grape in her mouth and considered the offer. She had seen a debate and Governor Grant seemed confident and smart but there was a soft underbelly that Sally Langston exploited easily. And during most of his events on the news he was by himself, no wife to support him despite the fact he was married with two kids. Voters liked married politicians, symbols of the family that they had or wished they had. Politicians that spoke and lived the values they wanted to see in American life. Voters didn't like cold marriages and Governor Grant's, even from a casual observer, was in trouble. He was handsome enough and in the few times she had seen him on television he looked like he was a poster boy for what a president looked like. Like the men at her job who coasted through on their looks and charm while she stayed where she was. She could work with that even though she knew his type and knew she might struggle to like the man. But opportunity was knocking and she was going to answer the door. Not many people got a chance to make a president and if she did she would never have to take orders from men like Grant ever again in life if she so chose to._

"_I'll do it. But I need to know I won't get a hassle from boy wonder when I get there. I get enough of that at work."_

_A giant grin came across Cyrus' face and in that moment he looked like an eager puppy. She smiled back at him. Anything for Cyrus._

* * *

She smoothed his hair back from his forehead, only beeps and pulses of the machines around them breaking the silence. She sat beside him alone as she had given James some space to get coffee and take some time from his bedside. Olivia was sure it was morning now but it didn't matter. What mattered was the man before her, frail and weak on his hospital bed.

"Hey, Cyrus. You sure do know how to make a statement." She smiled. "You are such a bastard you know that?"

There was no answer.

"You make me so mad at you to the point where I think I hate you. You played god with people's lives and I should hate you. But I don't. Cy, I love you so much. Despite everything I love you and if you wake up I'll deny I ever said it."

The beeps continued.

"You made me who I am. You took me in and made me everything I had ever dreamed of being. I make the difference in people's lives and that is all I ever wanted. You saw a headstrong black girl in your class and you saw the potential and I will always love you for that. Do you understand? And there are a lot of people out here who need you. Fitz is a wreck and he blames himself for what happened. James is so worried and scared. And I'm…I don't know what I am."

Silence answered her.

She reached a hand down and gripped one of his, her eyes tearing up. "You've got to get better. We've got a lot to say to each other. I'll never forgive you if you die on me, you old bastard."

Blue eyes opened and Olivia's heart speed up. She felt him grip her hand and under his oxygen mask a small smile came to his pained face. He was trying to say something but Olivia shook her head.

"You need to rest, Cy. I'm going to go get a doctor. James is going to be so…"

His hand squeezed her again and her body felt hot and tense. He wasn't…he couldn't…

He slowly brought a shaky and weak hand to his mask and tried to pull it away from his mouth. Olivia finally gave in and help him, putting it off of his mouth and over his face. He gave her a watery smile, his eyes on the brink of tears. He moved his mouth to say the word he had been struggling to say.

"Sorry."

He gripped her hand one last time and then she felt his hand loosen its grip. The monitors in the room began to go crazy but Olivia didn't need to hear them or see them to know the truth. Those blue eyes that were once so full of determination and grit, so full of giddiness at a political win or full of love when he married James. Those eyes that had looked at her with pride as she walked across the stage at her college graduation with her degree.

Those eyes were empty. Cyrus Beene was gone.


	20. Daffodils and Tomatoes

The straining chords of Pink Floyd's On the Run could be heard from even outside, and as Fitz took a small sip of his scotch on the rocks in a garden that Cyrus Beene had nurtured and cared for, he thought it was proper that Cyrus not have the ordinary service. Drunken laughter and song had been going on for hours inside of Cyrus' home, a rollicking party that Cyrus would have been proud to be a part of if he still lived. Mellie had long returned home, unable to deal with the lack of decorum from the guests and such passion at a funeral service. But this is what Cyrus had wanted, to be cremated and the center of attention at the best party ever, and this is what they were giving him.

He has spoken a few words but found he didn't remember them. He had song a few songs but was forgetting the melody. He had laughed until tears sloshed down his cheeks but he was unsure if it was out of laughter or grief. But now he watched the sun meeting the horizon and felt disgust in his stomach. An ache in his chest. He could no longer stand to be around the people who had not shown up at the hospital but now spoke warm words to Cyrus' ashes. Such fakeness was driving him crazy. So the garden was where he found himself, observing the daffodils and tomatoes as if they held the secret of life.

"I don't think he ever loved his garden." He heard from behind him and a small smile came to his face. Olivia. They had not talked for six days even though he had called over and over. Even at the beginning of this particular event he found she would not meet his eyes or even come close to him. She had not said words in memory of Cyrus, but merely silently observed everyone else. She was always the watcher.

"Took him away from the political battles that had to be won. He kept complaining to me about his knees."

The small laugh found him and then she was beside him. He didn't look over at her but knew she was there. Fitz took comfort in this.

"Think the press is taking pictures?" Olivia wondered.

"Doesn't matter. Fuck'em." Fitz took another drink. "Can't be surprised vultures are around the dead."

Olivia moved in front of him and he could see the tiredness in her eyes in the dying sunlight. He missed her and he wanted to hold her. Wanted to cry into her like he had done in the chapel and wanted for her to cry into him. He knew she was just as hurt and lost as he was. So why had she avoided him? And why did she want to talk to him now after ignoring him in the aftermath of Cyrus' death.

"How are you doing?"

Fitz shrugged his shoulders, feigning resignation and covering his own agony and bitterness. He then took another swig of his scotch.

"Mr. President?"

"So now it's back to Mr. President, is it?" Fitz shook his head and took in a deep breath as more laughter came from the house. "Is that what you want Olivia?"

"I don't know what I want." She answered honestly. "But I think that maybe we need time…"

"This is what you came out here for? Break the president's heart while he's mourning his friend?"

Olivia posture became colder and Fitz was getting more and more angry with her. Why couldn't she just let him love her? Why did she always do this?

"I never want to break your heart."

"But you're scared right now. Cyrus dying…you blame yourself for that and the only way you think you can punish yourself is by letting me go. That's some fucked up thinking, Liv."

"Like you don't blame yourself?"

"I'll blame myself until I go to my grave. But I'm selfish. Too selfish to let you walk away like it will make it better. I'm still divorcing Mellie, Olivia."

Olivia shook her head. "I shouldn't have come out here."

She tried to walk past him but he grabbed her arm and swung her back in front of him, his face twisted in anger and hurt.

"Stop being terrified of us. I know that you've lost a lot of people you love and Cyrus dying is reminding you of that but you can't let it consume you. It's not your fault, baby. And you are letting this eat you alive and it's killing me because I want to be there for you but you won't let me. You just shut me down like I don't mean anything to you."

"Fitz, let me go. Someone might be watching."

"I don't give a damn!" Fitz whispered harshly and kissed her deeply. He felt her respond and then pulled back.

"I love you, Livvie. It's okay to give in. To grieve. I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you."

He saw indecision in her eyes. "I'm scared. I'm scared I'm going to mess this up. I'm scared that I'm going to lose you too and I don't know if I can survive that."

"You'll never lose me." Fitz kissed her gently. "You won't lose me."

"I lose everyone." She whispered against his lips.

"Not me. I'm right here. And even if I died tomorrow I would never leave you. You will always have my love."

He felt her shudder in his arms. "I love you."

"I know."

"And I miss him so much."

"I know. I know, Livvie."

"And…I don't know what I'll do without him."

"We'll survive. And we'll be together."

She laid her head on his chest and he rocked them to the music coming from the house.

* * *

"I have an exclusive for you."

Gideon ears perked up and he rose from his bed, a sleeping Quinn beside him.

"What exclusive do you have? Billy Chambers…"

"Billy Chambers has nothing to do with this. I have concrete proof that the president had an affair with a White House intern and if you want I can give you an exclusive tape that will prove it. It will make your career."

"Why would you do that?"

"Because I have political aspirations of my own and I need my husband to get into line to make those dreams happen."

"Mrs. Grant…"

"Darling, call me Mellie. This is, after all, between friends."


	21. What You Want

"_Billy Boy I hope this is important enough that it was worth missing a campaign event."_

_Mellie was becoming impatient. She was tired, she had a headache, and Billy was annoying her to the point of wanting to jump out of the nearest window. She hated when people wasted her time. She hated when they bugged or pestered her with small demands and petty grievances. And she especially hated when she was told what to do and how to do it which was becoming a habit with the Grant campaign managers. Especially Olivia and Billy. They were getting on her last nerves._

"_Mrs. Grant, I assure you this is a matter of great importance."_

"_It better be. This was an important event…"_

"_What do you know about the relationship between your husband and Olivia?"_

_Mellie tilted her head and pursed her lips. Where was this going?_

"_She is doing her job. That's all I care about."_

_Billy paced the room and then sat down in front of the labtop that rested on the conference room table. _

"_I think you need to listen to this."_

_It was a strange sensation to hear her husband have sex with another woman. She had suspected but the piercing moans and groans coming from both people on the tape made it a certainty. Fitz was having an affair._

"_How did you get this?"_

"_It doesn't matter. I just wanted to let you know that this exists."_

"_Billy, how do you think I'm supposed to react to this?"_

_Billy looked confused. "Don't you care your husband…"_

"_I don't care if he fucks the postman. I do care that this is on tape and that this could possibly endanger his presidency."_

"_But he made vows to you. To us as a country and voters. You just suffered from a miscarriage and your husband has intercourse with another woman. What type of man is he?"_

_Mellie gave an irritated sigh. "Save that for someone who cares. How did you ever become a campaign manager? This can't be your first rodeo? Did you think I was supposed to cry? Tear up like a good little wifey and feel heartbroken? Was I supposed to fall in big strong Billy's arm and say how much of a bad man my husband is? Or was I supposed to blow up the campaign like some mad harpy and let your girl take the shine? Not going to happen."_

_Billy sputtered in response, unable to understand what was going on. Mellie took the opportunity to remove the disk from the laptop and hold it for a moment._

"_I get to keep this. You destroy all of the other copies. This stays between us. Do you understand?"_

"_Ye..Yes." Billy answered plainly._

_Mellie gave a polite nod and made her way to the door. She paused for a moment._

"_Oh, by the way. Toughen up."_

_She then continued to walk out the door._

* * *

Quinn Perkins had made many mistakes in her life. Many mistakes that had led her leave her previous life and assume a new one. One that was supposed to be better than the life that she left. But as she looked at the headline on the front page of the paper that he supposed boyfriend that said that President Grant was having sex with a young intern, it didn't feel that different from her past life.

"That tape is playing on every network television station in the nation, Quinn." Harrison said. "I told you that trusting Gideon was a mistake."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"That doesn't matter now." Olivia said as she sighed. "What matters now is that we contain it."

"Not only contain it but make sure it doesn't come back to you." Stephen added. "The press may think that this is Amanda Tanner on the tape right now but everyone in this room knows the truth. And if they find out it is you…"

"We'll deal with that bridge when we get there. Right now we need to coordinate with Cyrus…" Olivia paused for a minute, a small sharp pain going through her heart. Everyone else in the conference room put their head down for the moment. "We'll coordinate with Mason Gipsey at the White House what our response is going to be."

"Or maybe we just let the president fight his own battles." Abby suggested. "Maybe that is what we should have been doing since the beginning."

Olivia wasn't in the mood to fight with Abby. Abby had already been giving her a bit of the silent treatment since the reveal of the tape. And as much as she loved Abby like a sister, she was a afraid of what she might say to her if they argued over Fitz. Right now she needed to be focused on saving his presidency, both for his sake and in Cyrus' memory. His administration would not go down in scandal as long as she had breath in her body.

"We are doing it."

"What about Amanda Tanner?"

"Time for her to come home."

* * *

"Sir, you must understand…"

"No. I'm not going to lie anymore. I'm tired of it."

Mason shook his head. "This is not what Cyrus would want."

"Don't try to guilt me by using Cyrus. I know what I have to do."

"And I'm doing what I have to do, sir. The reality of this is that the country needs you. We have a deficit that is out of control, two wars, and a huge amount of job loss. People need hope and you give them that. Knowing that you slept with some intern is only going to…"

"Lead to my political demise. Maybe."

"It is for certain, sir."

"Then so be it."

Mason shook his head and Fitz gave him a small smile.

"I know I'm giving you a shitty first day at the job. But I have to say Cyrus taught you pretty well."

"He was a horrible boss but I admired him, sir." Mason said honestly. "But if this is what you want to do then I will not object to it. I serve at the pleasure of the President."

Fitz gave a curt nod and leaned back into his chair as Mason left the office. He would be lying to himself if he said he didn't feel embarrassed by the tape leaking. He would be lying if he said that a part of him still wanted to make a difference and be president. But he also knew he would be lying to say that he didn't want a simple life, now more than ever.

"What is it I hear?" He heard as Mellie stormed into the Oval Office. "You're calling a press conference to talk about Amanda Tanner?"

"Yes."

"What in the hell is wrong with you?"

"Nothing. I don't want to lie anymore."

"Of course you lie!"

"You might lie but I won't, Mellie."

"How gallant of you!" Mellie said as she stood in front of his desk. She leaned over. "Letting down the country because you couldn't keep it in your pants."

"Mellie…"

"You are so honest and trustworthy. So honest and trustworthy that you slept around on your wife. That's what you want the country to remember you as? A philanderer?"

"I don't care!" Fitz yelled as he pounded his hand against the desk. "I'm tired of living this life. I'm tired. What do you want me to do?"

"Fight! Fight dammit! Fight for your country. Your family. Are you that entranced by Olivia Pope you're willing to lose everything for her? So entranced that you will divorce your wife of twenty years and give up the presidency? Fitz, you need to come to your senses!"

"Get out."

"Excuse me."

"Get out!" Fitz stood up from behind his desk and rounded it so he was right beside her. "Get out! I don't want to see you!"

"I made you everything you are! Don't ever forget that!"

"Out!" Fitz demanded.

"Fine. If you want to self-destruct then that is your problem. But I'm taking the children to Santa Barbara."

"Ok."

"Mr. President I don't mean to intrude but Olivia Pope is on line one." Mrs. Hanley said as she peaked her head in the door cautiously.

"I'll be on in a minute."

"I hope she talks some sense into you." Mellie said as she exited the room.

Fitz took a deep breath and walked into his private study to answer the phone.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm giving a press conference admitting I had an inappropriate relationship with Amanda Tanner."

"Why would you do that?"

"Not you too." Fitz answered running his fingers into his hair.

"That is ridiculous. Do you want to be impeached?"

"No. But I'm not going to lie anymore."

"I don't think you are fully examining the consequences of this."

"You are sounding more and more like Cyrus."

"You need it right now. If you tell the world that you will be a pariah. Think John Edwards but twenty times worse. Your children will be humiliated. You won't be able to get any legislation passed and Democrats will have a field day. Add in the fact that you want to divorce Mellie…"

"Stop it, Livvie. We've been over this."

"And think about Amanda Tanner. That young girl will never be able to walk down the street or get a job if people knew that you had a sexual relationship with her. Imagine what that will do to her life. Or do you not care about that?"

"Don't guilt me."

"I'm not guilting you. I want you to see past what you want for once."

Fitz had to admit she was making some sense. "Then how do you want to deal with this."

"I'll find a way. You just need to trust me that I know what I'm doing."

"I trust you. You are one of the only people in the world I trust."

"Then trust me when I say I'm going to get everyone out of this with the least amount of pain."

"This was Billy, wasn't it? I should have punched him harder."

"I'll handle Billy. Right now I need you to not answer any questions and for you to be the best president you can be. You won't even give the accusations time to breathe."

"I understand."

"Ok."

"I love you."

"I know. Stay out of trouble."

"I'll try my best."

Fitz hung up the phone and closed his eyes. He imagined what Cyrus would do in this situation and felt tears sting his eyes.


	22. Athena

In some ways it was good to be home. Huck had returned them to her apartment and she was enjoying her own bed once again, the soft cotton pillows giving her head comfort after the hardened sheets of random hotel rooms. She didn't ask Huck why they were back in D.C. and he kept his mostly to himself, searching the apartment over and over again for the invisible boogey men that might be there. She had to admit, she liked the fact that he was there. She had seen enough of him to know anyone who would try to get to her would feel the pain of that decision.

Amanda heard the knock, even in her bedroom, and knew that it was Olivia. She heard whispers and movement in her living room but tried not to stir. A soft knock penetrated the quiet of her room and Amanda struggled out of bed and opened the door.

"Amanda."

"Olivia. It's nice to see that you are okay." Amanda admitted. She had heard from Huck that Olivia was fine after the attack but it was a relief to see it for herself.

"Thanks. How are you?"

Amanda made her way back to the bed, brought up a pillow and then sat, hugging the pillow as much as she could. She saw Olivia worry her lip and knew whatever brought her in the middle of the night was something that was going to be big.

"The press knows about you."

Amanda took in a deep breath. Great. Now she was not only the town slut but the national one as well.

"Billy?"

"We don't know. Right now we've kept the press off your tail so far by leaving a trail that you are in North Carolina visiting family but there is only so much time before they come looking for you here. Some reporters are already camped out."

"Huck was right about sneaking in." Amanda sighed again and rocked slightly.

"What I am going to assure you of is that you are out of danger."

"How do you know? Billy is still out there…"

"He won't hurt you." Olivia said with enough conviction that Amanda believed her. "But he will throw you to the wolves in the press."

Amanda stopped hugging the pillow.

"Then I guess I need to tell the world how it really is."

* * *

Darvin Katz had seen his share of things as an influential power broker of the Republican Party. He had run candidates. He had made presidents, senators, and an assortment of congressmen. If there was a ring to kiss, his was the first in line. So it was to his shock and surprise that he had been called to a private dinner with the First Lady in an undisclosed location in Georgetown.

"I don't really know what you are asking me, Mrs. Grant."

Mellie hadn't removed her sunglasses since she had come to the table, escorted by her secret servicemen. She looked like a femme fatal from one of those old film noir movies and Darvin didn't like that he felt like Sam Spade.

"My husband is having a difficult time right now. But after the smoke clears and his name has been cleared of the vile accusations against him he will be seen as one of the greatest presidents ever."

"And what does this have to do with me?" Darvin asked curiously.

"You can help my husband." Mellie took a small sip of her drink. "But you can help me as well."

"You know we all support President Grant." Darvin felt uncomfortable. "But I don't know how you think we can help him in this situation. Or help you."

"He will be fine. I assure you. And I will stand by him as a supportive wife should."

"Then what do you want me to do."

Mellie removed her sunglasses and gave him a chilling grin. "After all that support, do you think becoming a Senator from California too much of a price to ask?"

* * *

"You can't have him."

It was a simple statement coming from Stephen's mouth but one that she had been waiting to hear some time from him. She had seen his looks at her since he found out that she was the woman on the tape. She knew this moment was going to come. She had just hoped it wouldn't have come so soon. They were both watching as Amanda Tanner was getting ready to sit down with Diane Sawyer for the exclusive on the year in her office building. She was going to tell the world the truth about Billy Chambers and also lie as well. There would be no relationship with the president pushed by her and while that didn't help with the tape, it did help the accusations about Amanda Tanner.

Stephen stood behind her and she couldn't really see his face but she knew he was ready for this confrontation. Had been gearing for it.

"You know I'm right. That tape could ruin you and him. Is your relationship worth it?"

How could she admit that it might be worth everything? That she had never felt this way about another person and the thought of not having Fitz, after all she had lost, was unthinkable.

"We can deal with this later."

"No. We deal with this now. You have a firm. A damned good one with good people working for you and fighting for you. They have stood by you every step of the way. I have stood by you every step of the way. It is not fair what you are doing. I'm not trying to judge you, Olivia. God knows I have done things that keep me up at night. But this…this is about more than you and more than him. You have to let him go."

Olivia bit her lip as her heart fought with her brain. She remembered him coming to her when she had been injured. His look of rejection in Cyrus' garden when she had tried to push away. Then she thought of Cyrus. Of what he had sacrificed to make sure that Fitz had the opportunity to serve the people. Of the people they had met on the campaign trail who needed him to be president. Thought of her team, her gladiators, who needed something to believe in and work towards.

Was it much bigger than her and him? Could it be?

A small idea formed in her head and she almost felt sick for thinking it. But it pushed forward in her head like Athena from Zeus. This horrible thought that was crazy enough to work and save Fitz's presidency.

But it would break Fitz's heart. She turned to look at Stephen as Amanda began to talk.

"I'll be right back." She walked past Stephen, her eyes stinging from the pain of a heartbreak that had not yet come.

"Where are you going?"

Olivia kept walking.

"Saving the country."


	23. Table Turn

In the early morning, before the sun rose over the horizon, Pope and Associates received an unexpected guest.

"Incoming." Huck said as he looked at the security cameras, not quite believing who he was seeing in the lobby. They had all been up most of the night and Amanda was asleep on the couch in Huck's office. Stephen rushed to clean up the meeting room as Quinn tried to get her appearance together. "It's the President!"

"It's the who?" Abby said as she poked her head in his office.

"The President. Fitzgerald Grant. He's coming up with some Secret Service Agents."

"Holy shit." Quinn said. "What…what are…?"

"Calm down is what we are going to do first." Harrison added as he handed her some coffee.

The elevator reached the top and all the Gladiators waited. The doors opened to show a surprisingly sober faced President.

"Mr. President it is an honor…"

"Where is Olivia?"

Abby schooled her features to not show her disgust at this man who had gotten her best friend in such trouble. And now he had the nerve to come down to where she worked and demand Olivia's presence.

"Is Amanda here?"

"Why?" Huck asked, suddenly defensive.

"I'm here." Amanda answered coming out Huck's office. The President and Amanda considered on another and Fitz looked ashamed.

"Can I talk to you for a moment?"

"The answer is no." Abby stated plainly. "Amanda Tanner is our client and—"

"He can talk to me." Amanda answered. "We need to talk."

Huck glanced at her to make sure that she was truly okay with that. She gave him a small smile and nodded her head.

"You can use the conference room." Stephen offered as he pointed to the direction of the room.

"Thank you." Fitz passed the team and walked with Amanda Tanner to the conference room as the Gladiators watched with interest. Two Secret Service agents stayed behind.

* * *

"Amanda I…"

"I understand. I know what I did wasn't right and I understand if you are mad at me for deceiving you like that. I hope the interview—"

Fitz held up his hand and shook his head. "It was my fault. I treated you horribly and if I had followed my heart and listened to my gut I would have never taken advantage of you like that."

"What...didn't Olivia—"

"I know about Billy and what the scheme was. But I was the one stupid enough to fall into it because of my own damn insecurities. And I not only hurt you but someone else I loved very deeply. And I want to tell you that I apologize for what I did. I'm too damn old and I should have known better."

Amanda searched his eyes and saw the sincerity in his words. He was genuinely sorry about what had happened.

"And I'm sorry too, Mr. President. I…I was misled about your nature and…I misused our friendship."

"You were a good friend." Fitz admitted. There was a small pause and both contemplated what they had lost and what they had gained in all of it.

"I wish the best for you, Mr. Grant." Amanda said.

"I wish the best for you as well. You and your baby. I just wish…"

"That things were different?"

"Yeah. I wish that things were different."

Both stood and gazed at one another. Then Fitz nodded his head and made his way out of the room. As he approached the Gladiators he looked at Stephen.

"Thank you all for letting me talk to her. And thank you all for being there for Olivia. If you see her please tell her to call me as soon as possible."

And with that the President left Pope and Associates.

* * *

What Fitzgerald Grant didn't know was that at that time Olivia was at the White House.

"Funny how the tables turn, eh Olivia?" Mellie Grant said.

"Ms. Grant."

"Not so arrogant now are you? You were so sure…"

"I'm glad that you accepted my call and agreed to meet with me during the middle..."

"So sure that you didn't need Mellie Grant."

Olivia stayed silent her throat constricting with an emotion she couldn't quite grasp.

"So what is the deal? That would be the only reason you would come here. You found a solution to Fitz's problem and it involves me?"

"You will be the woman on the tape."

"And what do I get out of that? Fitz is divorcing me."

"I can stop that." Olivia offered. Mellie laughed.

"You would do that? Let him go?"

"Yes. If it meant saving his presidency then I would."

"You love him that much?"

"Yes."

Mellie laughed again. "Never thought I'd see the day."

"And if you admit it was you on the tape then you can continue to pursue your run for the Senate."

Mellie looked taken aback. "You know about that?"

"I know a lot more than you think."

Both women sat in silence for a moment. Then Olivia dropped the bombshell.

"And it might be advisable that you say you are pregnant."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because it is hard to look into charges of infidelity when the First Lady is pregnant with a child. That will give the President time to put the controversy behind him and move ahead with his legislative goals."

"Jesus. You really do love him." Mellie stood up and Olivia stood up with her.

"I'll schedule the interview to announce the good news." Olivia said, her heart feeling frozen in her chest. Mellie gave a small smile.

"It was nice having this conversation with you."

"What conversation?"

Both women turned to see Fitz enter the room.

**A/N: This is a short chapter but I'll make up for it. Two more chapters and an epilogue to go. What will happen next?**


	24. Cry Together

Fitz stared at the two women in the room with a sense of growing anxiety. There was a secret here and for most of his life he had walked into rooms knowing that there was something unspoken between the people who thought he didn't understand. The tension of unspoken words and hushed whispers. All usually about him.

He gave an intense glare to Mellie and then to Olivia, the sun rising through the window highlighting their perfidy in the light.

"What conversation?"

"We aren't getting a divorce, sweetheart." Mellie offered sweetly. "I'm going to save your presidency."

He felt as if he had been slapped and a quiet rage surged through him. He glared at Olivia again and she had the good sense to put her head down and look at her shoes. Mellie smiled like she had just eaten the canary whole.

"Really?"

"Yes, really." Mellie's smiled faltered and revealed her rage. "I'm going to say I was on the tape and am utterly humiliated by the fact that someone would share such an_ intimate _moment between us. And with me in such a state."

"What state is that?" He would not take his eyes off of Olivia as the rage built from his head and raced down his spine.

"I'm pregnant, dear." Mellie chirped and Fitz felt his stomach boiling with bile. Olivia shifted uncomfortably, as if she wanted to escape the room, the White House, her life. Fitz could barely see straight. "Olivia agrees with me."

The silence could suffocate. Fitz closed his eyes, hoping that when he opened them neither woman would be there. That he was hallucinating all of it. That it was the grief of Cyrus' death that was finally cracking through his psyche and he was finally going insane. He opened them and they were still there.

"No." It was a simple word but with it the walls of the power they had all created together shattered.

"Excuse me?"

"No. I'm not going to do it."

Olivia finally looked up from that to gauge his seriousness. "Mr. President…"

He held his hand up and Olivia stopped what she was saying. His look was dangerous and uncommon in his nature.

"No. You don't get to tell me what to do…"

"Fitz…"

"Mr. President…"

"ENOUGH!" Fitz voice boomed through the room and both Olivia and Mellie took a step back. They were not used to this Fitz. This man in front of them who seemed seconds away from exercising power he never had before. "You don't get to tell me what to do. Neither of you."

His gaze held to Olivia, his jaw twitching in anger. "You don't get to tell me how to live my life."

He turned it to Mellie. "You don't get to run my life. Those days are fucking over."

Mellie's face twisted and the air became electric. "How dare you? After all I've done…"

"All you've done! For what? You think that was for me? It was for you! It was always for you! You don't give a damn about me!" Fitz's chest rose and fell rapidly, his fists tightening and untightening. "I've been your puppet. Your means to an end. That stops right now."

"Mr. President…"

"Enough, Olivia!" The pain in his voice was unmistakable. "I'm not doing this. This is ridiculous! If this takes me down then it takes me down but I'm not going to spend one more minute pretending. Not one more."

He turned and walked away from both, his back straight and tall. Mellie turned to Olivia, a look of shock on her face.

"Stop him. Olivia, stop him."

Olivia looked at Mellie and felt her guts twisting. "No. I won't."

"Olivia?"

"He's right. I…I can't do that to him."

"You bitch!" Mellie screamed. Olivia didn't say anything. "I can destroy the both of you!"

"You can try." Olivia snarled back. "This is a game you don't want to play Mellie. I have documents going back on you since your pageant days! You want a war I'll give it to you. I'll give it to you with interest."

"You ungrateful snot!" Mellie whispered. "You are so high and mighty but will sleep with a married man. A married president."

"He's not yours." Olivia declared, her eyes bold in the statement. "He was never yours. You used him. You tricked him and you tricked the American people. He was never yours to claim. Not his heart. Not his body. Not his mind. And not his soul."

"So is he yours?" Mellie asked, her arms crossing.

"Damn right." Olivia nodded. "And right now I'm going to go get him and apologize. Have a good day, Mellie."

* * *

Huck couldn't leave it alone. It had been 24 hours since Amanda had said her story to America and he still felt on edge. He had been tracing where the story had come from, who had leaked it, and who had given Gideon Wallace the information. Now he was at Gideon's apartment door fighting the urge to break it down.

He knocked politely and Gideon answered promptly.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm here for information."

* * *

She knew Fitz could sense her in the room. That he could always sense her nearby in the same ways she could sense him. How long had she denied that connection? Since their first argument in the hallway of his campaign headquarters? Since he declared he was a better politician than he seemed? Or was it something even before she knew him, a hesitation in her heart that told her that she should wait. Wait, her heart had said, wait. Even then was she connected by this invisible string to this man who would be the most powerful in the world. She was not one to believe in fairytales or dream of prince charming but there was something destined about this. And she was fighting it. She had been fighting it but now, after seeing his face, after knowing in that moment that he was on the brink, she could no longer fight it.

"Don't ever do that again, Olivia." His back was to her as he gazed at the sunlight hitting the Washington Monument.

"I was only doing…"

"Don't say you were only doing what was best for me. You were doing what was best for you because you're scared to love me."

That naked truth landed like a bomb between them, shattering the illusion she had carefully built for years. Fitz turned from the window and glared at her, his shoulders slumping and tired.

"I'm sorry, Fitz." She said as tears came to her eyes. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

He came from behind his desk and met her on the Presidential Seal in the middle of the Oval Office. Both of them stared at each other, trying to gauge the other's reaction. She reached out first and put her hand on his face. "I'm sorry, baby."

"Don't do that again." Fitz whispered, his pain evident on his face. He leaned forward and brought his head to her. "Don't do that again."

She nodded her head and closed her eyes as she felt his arms wrap around her. He pulled away slightly, his grey eyes yearning for hers.

"I don't need saving anymore, Livvie. I don't need you to save me."

"Fitz."

"I need you to love me. That's all I want. For you to love me. That's all I've ever wanted."

He took a shuddering breath as tears spilled down his cheeks and she instinctively kissed them and held him to her. Grief entered her and tears came down her own cheeks started to intermix with his as they rubbed the side of their faces together.

"I love you." She whispered. "I love you."

His lips met her lips, both not caring if the cameras above saw them, not caring if the world imploded, not caring about the past or the future. They mixed together and swirled in their own dance. They were one element together. Their own entity.

And they would hold on.


	25. End Game

Her phone buzzed but pretended she didn't hear it. Her head laid on his chest as he breathed in and out. Olivia wondered why she had fought this for so long. Fought them for so long. He rocked her softly, his hands soothing her as they ran up and down her back. She held onto Fitz tight, not wanting to let go of this moment. Not wanting to let go of him.

"Liv, your phone…"

She moaned in frustration as he let go of her and moved towards his desk. She grabbed her purse from the sofa and then opened it to grab her phone.

"Pope."

"_It was the first lady."_

"Huck?" Confusion came to her brain. What was he talking about?

"_The first lady released the tape. She was the one who fed the story to Gideon Wallace."_

Olivia's jaw tightened. "Are you sure?"

"_Positive. Gideon told me himself."_

"Huck?" A moment of concern.

"_I'm fine, Olivia. He's fine too."_

Olivia nodded her head, understanding the effort that took Huck. "Good job."

"_How do you want to handle it?"_

Olivia looked at Fitz who was now becoming curious about her conversation.

"It'll be handled. Don't worry about it."

* * *

James carried a big box inside of Pope and Associates that was his husband's life work. Going through his things in the aftermath of his death had been both revealing and heartbreaking. Cyrus had kept many things a secret from him and he had been so in love with him that he ignored everything that his reporter instincts had told him. That Cyrus was up to something. That he was a hardcore political player. That he was ruthless and maniacal. That in some ways he was a bit of a monster.

It was a much different side than the Cyrus he saw and loved. A man who was gentle and affectionate. A man who took care of him and believed in him in his own cranky way. A man who was a patriot to his country. A man he still deeply loved despite knowing what he now knew.

Inside this box was enough to destroy the American Government to its foundations. And now he was handing it to the biggest fixer in Washington.

* * *

Mellie sat furiously looking at her husband, Olivia behind him, and knew that she had been outmaneuvered. He had a slight grin on his face, as if he were playing with a mouse, and continued on with what the new phase of their relationship was going to be.

"You will confess to being the woman on the tape. We will go onto 20/20 with Diane Sawyer and confess that the audio from an intimate tape had been leaked to the press. That we made the tape in an effort to fix our marriage but it was unsuccessful. We will announce that we are going to have a trial separation but you still support me as President of the United States and believe in the efforts of the administration."

"I…"

"I'm not finished." Fitz declared. "You will keep the title of First Lady and all the duties within other than being my spouse. But you will move back to Santa Barbara where you can do with your time what you like while still preforming duties of a First Lady. If you can do that, then I will be charitable enough to endorse you for the Senate seat of California and will use the power of the White House to your advantage. My ex-wife will deserve nothing but the best."

"And what of you and Olivia? Do you think reporters won't dig for the real reason for the separation and divorce?"

"We've both agreed to some separation in an effort to look like a natural transition. But other than that it's not your concern." Olivia said simply. Fitz gave her a slight nod and continued.

"We will have shared custody of the children. And we will both treat the other with respect around them. You are free to visit the White House at any time, just let there be notice that you are coming."

"And if I don't do any of this?"

"Then I am prepared to release the biggest storm of scandal the world has ever seen." Olivia pronounced. The two women gazes met and Mellie saw the steel in Olivia eyes and dared not to challenge it. "Mutual destruction is not something any of us want, Mellie."

"This is to be a mutually beneficial relationship, Mel." Fitz said simply. Mellie met his eyes and for a moment Fitz saw the woman he knew long ago. The one who could laugh and smile. The woman who had bared him children. And she knew he was returning the words she had said to him long ago. Words that had hurt him then and had returned to hurt her now.

She gave a sardonic smile, her perfectly white teeth showing, and stood up. She stared directly at Olivia.

"He thought he loved me once too, Olivia. Always remember that."

And then she made her way out of the Residence. Fitz turned to look at Olivia as Olivia came to him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders and neck.

"I'm going to miss you."

"Six months isn't too long a time, Fitz."

"It's forever when you know you are finally getting everything you ever wanted."

Olivia felt tears come to her eyes and Fitz kissed her forehead and then her lips.

"I'm going to miss you too. I love you, Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III"

"And I love you, Olivia Carolyn Pope. I always will. Nothing will ever change that."

* * *

Olivia Pope returned to find James sitting in her office. Stephen told her that he had been waiting a good portion of the afternoon for her with a box he wouldn't share the contents to.

"James."

"Olivia. It is good to see you." He stood and shook her hand. Her eyes went to the plain cardboard box and the back to his.

"What is this?"

James looked at her wearily. "I always knew that there were some things Cyrus wouldn't share with me. Some things he would keep to himself. I never...I just never thought."

Olivia looked at the box again and then moved towards it. She slowly opened it and then shook her head once she saw the contents.

Inside was the dossier of every major politician in Washington D.C. including President Grant. But the biggest was the dossier that had her name on it.

* * *

They both returned to the house James shared with Cyrus.

"It still feels like he's here. Like I keep…"

"I know." Olivia said, tears in her eyes.

James began to build a fire in the marble fireplace when they went into the main den as Olivia put down the box full of dossiers. She burned Fitz's first, not really wanting to know secrets that existed past his beautiful gray eyes. Then she went through the Senators. And then the Congressmen. Then the ambassadors. Then the aides. She finally reached hers and paused.

"I didn't look, Olivia."

"You could have taken all of this information and won that Pulitzer. Why didn't you?"

James shrugged. "I figured I'd have to give Cyrus half the credit and that bastard isn't going to get the satisfaction of getting half my prize."

Olivia giggled. "I can see him dancing around at the thought."

"Smug bastard." James commented. "He always loved you. Always."

Olivia nodded her head. "I know."

She then threw her dossier in the fire and watched her secrets burn away.

* * *

"You didn't say anything about phones."

"Seriously, Fitz?"

"I can talk to you. This is a secure line. I can't not talk to you for six months. That's not how love works."

Olivia gave a small smile. "You are treading a very thin line, sir."

"I like it when you call me, sir."

"I can call you other things."

She could feel his grin through the phone.

**A/N: And this is the end! Thank you guy for sticking with the story and reviewing. It has kept me up and kept me writing. I hope you enjoyed it.**


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